Hidan's a kid!
by Dana.Kay123
Summary: Hidan got turned into a kid, can the Akatsuki deal with it?
1. A Kid!

**Summary: An Akatsuki fanfic. Hidan has been turned into a kid! Can the rest of the Akatsuki deal with it?**

Chapter 1

"Curse Leader-sama for sending me on this Jashin damn mission," Hidan growled. He would much rather be at home doing one of his rituals. Pain had sent Hidan out to gather several scrolls, which of course, he did.

"At least I sacrificed 7 of those damned heathens today," Hidan muttered to himself. He heard a rustle in the bushes, and pulled out his scythe. "Who the hell is there?" Hidan yelled. He looked around, peering at the bush closely. "Jashin damn it, get your ass out here! I fucking swear, I'll sacrifice you to Jashin!" Hidan growled. Before he knew it, something hit him in the back, knocking him down.

"What the hell! That fucking hurt you asshole!" Hidan screamed in annoyance. He jumped up, and again, before he knew it, the man who had attacked him performed a jutsu. Vines came up from the ground and trapped Hidan.

"Honey, what do you say we test my new jutsu on him?" a woman asked, coming out from the bush.

"I think that would be great idea my love," the man said, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"I'm going to be sick you fucking heathens! Let me go before I sacrifice you to almighty Jashin!" Hidan yelled, struggling against the vines.

"Oh quiet, struggling is useless against my jutsu. You may as well stop, boy, we're going to try something on you, then untie you," the man explained. Suddenly the woman did a lot of different hand signs, and Hidan realized everything was getting bigger.

"Oh it worked! He's so little!" the woman exclaimed, untying Hidan. The man and woman took off running, faster than Hidan had seen anyone run.

"Heathens! I will get you!" Hidan yelled. He got up and was about to run, but tripped.

"Damn! They turned me into a kid!" Hidan screeched.

"_What the fuck am I going to do? What is the rest of the Akatsuki going to think?"_ Hidan thought.

All of the sudden, Hidan started to cry, he had no idea why, he couldn't control it. He just started sobbing and sobbing.

At the Akatsuki base

"Where the hell is Hidan? He should've been back by now." Pain grumbled.

"Knowing that dumb zealot, he probably stopped every time he saw someone to do one of his precious sacrifices." Kakuzu said.

"I want everyone to go out and search for Hidan, now!" Pain demanded.

"What? Why do we have to search for him! He should be okay, he's immortal Leader-sama!" Kakuzu said.

"Go, now! I want those scrolls! Find Hidan and bring him back immediately!" Pain thundered.

The Akatsuki members ran out to find Hidan, all except for Konan and Pain. Pain stayed in his office and Konan was gone for vacation.

Back with Hidan

All of Hidan's clothes were too big for him, they hung on him, pooling at his feet. He pulled his cloak around him, covering his shoulders down, still sobbing.

"_Why can't I stop crying? Jashin will smite me for this!"_ Hidan thought to himself.

"DAMN THIS FUCKING WORLD! Jashin damn those bitches!" Hidan screamed.


	2. Found you!

Chapter 2

With Tobi and Zetsu

"Where do you think he is Zetsu san?" Tobi asked.

"**I don't care, when I find him, I'm going to eat him!" **Zetsu's black half said.

"No! We're not going to eat him! I bet he's fine Tobi, probably sacrificing some innocent person," Zetsu's white half assured Tobi.

With Kakuzu

"When I find my partner, I'm going to rip his head off," Kakuzu muttered to himself, angrily, glaring around.

With Itachi and Kisame

"Why do we have to search for the zealot?" Kisame sighed. He knew Hidan was okay, he could take care of himself, hell, he was immortal!

"Because Leader-sama wants the scrolls…" Itachi said blankly.

With Sasori and Deidara

"Sasori danna, do you think Hidan is okay, un?" Deidara asked.

"Yes, he's immortal after all…how much **can **happen to an immortal man?" Sasori said.

"Danna! Listen, yeah!" Deidara said, straining to hear the soft sound in the distance.

"It sounds like someone crying…Let's go check it out." Sasori said, running. (Sasori isn't in Hiruko.) Deidara followed right behind Sasori. They soon got close to the sound.

"That sounds like a little kid sobbing," Deidara said, frowning. Eventually they found where the sound was coming from.

"Hidan? Is that you?" Sasori asked, shocked.

Hidan was curled up in a little ball sobbing, covered by his oversized cloak.

"Hidan, what the hell happened to you? You're a little kid, yeah!" Deidara exclaimed.

"I kn-know bitch!" Hidan hiccupped, still crying.

"Are you okay, un?" Deidara asked.

"N-no!" Hidan whimpered.

"Hidan what happened?" Sasori asked, staring at Hidan.

"SOME JASHIN DAMN ASSHOLES TURNED ME INTO A KID! WHAT THE HELL DOES IT LOOK LIKE?" Hidan shouted. He pulled his cloak tighter around himself and looked down, wiping his eyes.

"Why are you crying Hidan? It's not like you…yeah," Deidara asked, giving Sasori a concerned look. Sasori lifted Hidan up, Hidan was still wrapped in his clothes.

"Hush Hidan, there's no reason to cry, we've got you, don't cry. You're an S-Rank criminal and you're bawling your eyes out…" Sasori soothed.

"Sh-shut t-the…h-h-hell…u-up!" Hidan whimpered, obviously upset.

"Don't cuss! You're just a little kid! Un!" Deidara said. They started to run back to the base, but they ran into the others, who all ran into each other and decided to wait for Sasori and Deidara.

Normal

"Is that Hidan?" Kakuzu asked, his mouth dropping.

"Yes…" was Sasori's short reply. Tobi, Zetsu, Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu looked at the little boy in Sasori's arms.

"**Can I eat him?" **Zetsu's black half asked.

"No! We're not eating him!" Zetsu's white half said. "Don't worry Hidan, we're not gonna eat you!" Zetsu's white half said, smiling.

"Let me hold my partner, he's practically mine," Kakuzu said, reaching out for Hidan. Sasori handed Hidan to Kakuzu, all of the sudden, Hidan started cussing his head off.

"No! Put me down you fucking bitch ass heathen fucker! I will sacrifice you to Jashin-sama!" Hidan yelled.. He didn't want Kakuzu holding him at all. Several of the Akatsuki members looked amused at Hidan's reaction. Sasori snatched Hidan back.

"Don't cuss Hidan, you're very misbehaved…" Sasori said. "_I guess I'll get stuck taking care of him," _Sasori thought to himself.

"Wow…Hidan as a kid…this should be interesting! He's really emotional though," Kisame commented. They all went back to base, to face Pain…

"WHAT THE **HELL** HAPPENED TO HIDAN?" Pain screamed, his eyes wide.

"Leader-sama, please don't yell, you're scaring Hidan," Deidara muttered. Hidan was hiding behind Sasori. Kakuzu lifted Hidan up, and immediately Hidan flipped, he started cussing again.

"HIDAN! Don't cuss, you're a little kid!" Pain yelled, glaring at the small Jashinist.

"He's still himself," Sasori said, pulling Hidan from Kakuzu and setting him down on Pain's desk. Kakuzu frowned, angrily.

"About how old do you think he is?" Pain asked, his question not directed to anyone.

"Probably around 4 years to 6 years…I'm not really sure though," Kisame guessed.

"Damn…Well you all go…take care of him or something," Pain said.

They took Hidan into the living room.

"He needs new clothes…" Itachi said, looking at Hidan's oversized clothes.

"Hey Hidan, you wanna go shopping with me?" Kisame asked him. Hidan just glared at the shark nin.

"Damn Hidan, you're going to cost us money!" Kakuzu snapped.

"Don't fucking yell at me stitch face! OH! I forgot, I got the scroll," Hidan said, holding the scroll up proudly, then throwing it at Kakuzu.

"Awwwww little Hidan is so cute and violent!" Tobi cooed. They all were smiling at Hidan, well except for Kakuzu, he stalked out of the room and gave Pain the scroll. Once Kakuzu gave Pain the scroll, he stalked back into the living room, glaring at Hidan.

"I'm not cute…bitch," Hidan muttered.

"No cussing! Okay, come here Hidan!" Deidara said. Hidan gave Deidara a death glare..

"He's going to kill you," Zetsu's white half said, nonchalantly.

They went to the mall and went straight to get some clothes. They handed Hidan some clothes and sent him into the changing room.

20 minutes later

"Hidan, are you okay? Do you need some help?" Kakuzu called.

"Fuck no you pedophile!" Hidan yelled.

5 minutes later

"Hidan, hurry up," Kisame yelled impatiently, he wanted to get this over with, knowing Kakuzu would freak out over the price.

"I'm coming you fucking heathens!" Hidan yelled, coming out of the dressing room with a pile of clothes in his arms, pouting.

"Do they all fit?" Itachi asked, not paying much attention.

"Yes you dumb fuck. Can we go home now? I'm fucking hungry!" Hidan whined.

"No cussing! You're so annoying as a brat!" Kakuzu yelled.

"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU HEATEN! I'M GOING TO SACRIFICE YOU TO ALL MIGHTY JAHIN!" Hidan yelled.

Everyone in the store turned to stare at Hidan.

"STOP STARING HEATHENS, I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" Hidan screamed.

"Hidan stop cussing! Quiet and come with us, we need to pay!" Itachi said quietly, lifting Hidan up, who started to struggle.

They went to pay…

**How much will it cost? Will Kakuzu freak out? See next chapter!**


	3. Bedtime!

Chapter 3

They went up to the checkout, once the clerk was done ringing up the clothes, the cost was 300 ryo! Kakuzu flipped out and killed the clerk. The Akatsuki started to walk back to the base, once they calmed Kakuzu down and he paid the other clerk.

Hidan yawned on the walk back to the base and Sasori glanced at him, then Kakuzu lifted him up.

"You're going to be a brat," Kakuzu grunted.

"PUT ME DOWN DAMN HEATHEN!" Hidan cried.

"STOP CUSSING YOU DAMNED ZEALOT!" Kakuzu yelled.

"Don't yell at Hidan-san! He's so small!" Tobi said. He pulled Hidan from Kakuzu and hugged him, much to Hidan's annoyance.

"GET OFF ME BASTARD! SOMEONE, HELP! THE AKATSUKI HAS CAPTURED ME!" Hidan yelled. Suddenly, a woman came running up and slapped Tobi.

"You assholes! Leave this adorable little boy alone! He's sooooooo cute!" the woman said, snatching Hidan to her. Suddenly, she dropped Hidan, her eyes widening when she saw the Akatsuki.

"OWWW!" Hidan yelped. Deidara snatched Hidan into his arms, looking at the bleeding wound, while Sasori killed the woman in one quick stab.

"That bitch, dropping Hidan, yeah!" Deidara said, holding Hidan tighter.

"Deidara, my head fucking hurts!" Hidan said. They ran home and Deidara forced Hidan to take an aspirin and Kakuzu put stitches in his head.

"Hidan, you should go to sleep, you're very young now," Pain said.

"Hell no! It's only 9:00 p.m!" Hidan snapped, then yawned. Pain sighed and face palmed.

"Hidan, if you don't go get a bath then go to bed, I'm going to make Kakuzu bath you," Pain threatened. No one in the Akatsuki ever saw anyone run as fast as Hidan. Hidan got a bath, then he came out and climbed onto the couch, next to Itachi.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Itachi asked, raising an eyebrow at the little boy.

"Let him stay up until he falls asleep, then we can just leave him on the couch with a teddy bear and a night light," Kisame laughed. Hidan glared at him.

"Fuck you Kisame! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! PAIN! KISAME IS BEING MEAN TO ME!" Hidan shouted, hopping off the couch. Pain came into the living room with a blank look on his face.

"Hidan what did you scream? What's wrong?" Pain asked. Hidan put on his most innocent, cute expression, and ran to Pain, clinging to his cloak.

"Kisame is picking on me!" Hidan said, pouting up at Pain. Pain lifted Hidan up and glared at Kisame.

"_I wish these people would stop holding me! When I'm back to normal, I'm going to kill them…most of them," _Hidan thought.

"Didn't you pay attention to what I said? Take care of him," Pain snapped. He carried Hidan to his room and set him in bed.

"Goodnight Hidan, behave yourself. If you need anything, get someone up," he said, tucking Hidan into bed.

"Night Pain!" Hidan yelled, curling up under the covers, closing his eyes and falling asleep in a matter of minutes. Pain walked out into the living room, where the rest of the Akatsuki was seated.

"Did he go to sleep, un?" Deidara asked. He wanted to take care of Hidan while he was a kid, he thought it would be fun, besides, he could tease Hidan about it later.

"Yes he did, what do you think happened, Itachi?" Pain asked.

"I think that he was attacked by several powerful ninja," Itachi said.

"Why did you ask Itachi and not me?" Sasori asked.

"He's smarter, no offense," Pain muttered.

"Hidan-san is so cute as a kid! He's mean though!" Tobi chirped, smiling under his mask.

As they talked, and Hidan slept, it started to rain outside.

**What will happen next? Will Sasori's fangirls attack Pain for saying Itachi is smarter? Who knows!**


	4. Thunderstorm!

Chapter 4

As the night went on, the raining turned into a horrible thunderstorm. The thunder boomed and Hidan woke up, glaring around.

"Damn, shut up," Hidan sighed. Suddenly, he had an idea. He just needed the thunder to boom one more time…BOOM! The thunder crashed, the sound echoing through the house.

"_Now's my chance,"_ Hidan thought. He jumped out of bed and starting running down the hall.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Hidan cried, getting to the living room, jumping on the couch, and latching himself onto Zetsu's white half.

"Are you afraid of the thunder Hidan-san?" Zetsu's white half asked, stroking Hidan's hair.

"Hidan go back to bed, it's just a storm," Kakuzu muttered, counting his money. Sasori sighed and Deidara face palmed. Hidan pouted, clinging to Zetsu's sleeve. He made sure it was the white half because the black half would eat him.

"B-b-but, I'm s-scared of the th-thunder," Hidan whimpered. Kakuzu glared at him and Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Hidan, go back to bed, the storm will be over soon enough," Itachi said, looking out the window.

"I'm scared! Zetsu-san, can I stay out here and watch TV with you?" Hidan asked, looking up at Zetsu, his purple eyes gleaming with 'tears'.

"Of course you can Hidan-san! **No he can't,**" Zetsu's two halves said.

"Hidan, get up to bed, right now!" Kakuzu yelled.

"**You should listen to Kakuzu,**" Zetsu said. Deidara looked at Kakuzu, appalled. You have to remember, Hidan was between the ages of 4 and 6. Suddenly thunder boomed again and Hidan got another idea. He jumped off the couch and darted into Pain's room. He jumped into Pain's bed and curled up against him.

"Hmmmm," Pain groaned. He cracked on eye open and saw Hidan curled against his chest. Little purple eyes looked at him, gleaming with more 'tears'.

Back in the living room

"Kakuzu-san! Why do you have to be sooo mean to Hidan-san! He's soooooo little!" Tobi whined.

"Shut up Tobi, un. Where do you think he went, hmm?" Deidara asked Sasori.

"To Pain's room," Sasori muttered. Wait a second…

"OH MY JASHIN! HE WENT TO PAIN'S ROOM! AHHHH!" Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, and Tobi yelled.

In Pain's room

"Hidan? What the hell," Pain muttered sleepily. He pulled himself into a sitting position and sat Hidan on his lap. Thunder boomed again and Hidan buried his head in Pain's chest. Once Pain settled the 'frightened' child down, he sighed.

"I'm scared of the s-storm and I wanted to s-stay with Zetsu-san! B-but th-the guys d-don't want m-me out there!" Hidan cried.

"We'll just see about that, won't we?" Pain said, he had a dark gleam in his eyes. He carried Hidan out to the living room and glared at all the Akatsuki members.

"H-hello Leader-sama," Deidara greeted nervously. Pain glared at Kakuzu.

"What?" Kakuzu asked. He paused his money counting and glared at Hidan.

"I know you yelled at Hidan," Pain said. Kakuzu always yelled at Hidan, so he pretty much figured Kakuzu yelled at Hidan.

"Pain, he's going to get spoiled rotten. Look at him; he gets whatever he wants now. He's just using us," Kakuzu reasoned. Hidan gave a fake whimper.

"P-Pain-sama! Why does Kakuzu-san hate me?" Hidan asked, laying his head against Pain. Kakuzu looked shocked.

"I don't hate you Hidan! Why would you think that? I know I've said it, but…" Kakuzu trailed off, still looking at Hidan.

"When you say you hate someone, it's usually because you hate them and you always yell at me," Hidan said in a small voice. Pain sat Hidan on the couch next to Deidara.

"Let him stay until the storms over, can't you bastards see his afraid? If he wakes me up again, well, just pray to his god that he doesn't," Pain said smirking. He walked back to his room and dialed a number on his cell.

"Hello?" a faint voice answers.

"Hello, I need to ask you something," Pain said into the phone.

Back in the living room

"Hidan-san! Kakuzu doesn't hate you! He's in love with you! He wants to be closer to you! Oh don't you see it? He's hiding his true feelings!" Tobi said, clasping his hands together looking up at the ceiling. Sasori sweat dropped, Deidara choked, Itachi twitched, Kisame laughed and Zetsu was speechless. Kakuzu promptly fell out of his seat.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU DUMBFUCK! THIS ISN'T A ROMANCE MOVIE YOU ASS!" Hidan yelled.

"Tobi, what the hell have you been watching on TV, un?" Deidara asked, his eyes narrowing.

"The most romantic movie! Oh Lisa and Jason got together, but at first they acted like they hated each other, but oh they were so in love! Oh it was so romantic!" Tobi said dreamily. Everyone just looked at him.

"What," Itachi said.

"The," Kakuzu growled.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF JASHIN-SAMA IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU TOBI? I'M GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR GAY ASS!" Hidan screamed, trying to escape Deidara who was holding him.

"Interesting night…"Kisame said. The thunder boomed and Hidan flinched and leaned into Deidara.

"Hey Hidan yeah," Deidara whispered, "Are you seriously afraid of the storm, un?"

"_Am I _**_that _**_good of an actor?"_ Hidan thought. He decided he should keep up his act, just in case Pain heard or something.

"Hidan? Hidan? Earth to Hidan," Sasori called.

"Huh?" Hidan asked, confused. He didn't realize he was zoning out on Deidara's chest.

"I asked what movie you wanted to watch," Sasori muttered. _"What's up with him?" _Sasori thought.

"Oh, ummmm…The Exorcist!" Hidan exclaimed happily.

"Oh great…Fuck our lives," Kisame muttered.

Once The Exorcist was over they put in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The Exorcist wasn't scary to Hidan, he friggin laughed at it! Hidan laughed his head off and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre also. What's wrong with him? Once the movie was over, the storm ended, and everyone went to bed.

**I bet you're wondering about Pain's phone call? Well you'll find out in one of my next chapters!**

**Please review!**


	5. Flashback!

Chapter 5

The morning after the storm, in the kitchen

"Hidan are you okay? The storm didn't scare you to bad, did it?" Pain asked the small child.

"It didn't," Hidan answered, almost asleep in his chair.

"Ha! The thunder scared the hell out of him, every time it boomed he flinched and clutched Dei's cloak," Kisame laughed. Hidan sent him an evil glare.

"Hidan, you need a nap…you were up very late last night and I don't want you to be an ass," Itachi said, looking at the boy who was almost asleep. Hidan sent him one of his oh so lovely death glares.

"No way in hell am I taking a nap, I don't need one," Hidan growled. Pain sighed; he knew Hidan would get cranky and whiny. He was hard to get to bed at night, imagine in the day…Suddenly Itachi lifted Hidan up and carried him into the living room. He sat in the rocking chair and gently placed Hidan on his lap. The rest of the Akatsuki came in and sat on the couch (poor Konan, she's on vacation). Itachi gently started rocking.

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word, I'm gonna buy you a mocking bird and if that mockingbird won't sing, I'm gonna buy you a diamond ring and if that diamond ring turns brass, I'm gonna buy you a looking glass and if that looking glass gets broke, I'm gonna buy you a billy goat and if that billy goat won't pull, I'm gonna buy you a cart and bull and if that cart and bull fall down, you'll still be the sweetest little baby in town," Itachi sang softly, still rocking Hidan.

During the song, Hidan unconsciously snuggled to Itachi, and he actually started feeling drowsy. Itachi looked at Hidan's face, knowing the boy was fighting to stay awake.

"M'not a baby…Tachi you're warm," Hidan muttered, cuddling to the Uchiha. He stilled stayed awake. Most of the Akatsuki members where in shock at the fact that Itachi Uchiha had just rocked a kid back and forth and sang to him.

"Sasori go tell him a story or some shit like that," Pain demanded.

"What," Zetsu said.

"The," Kakuzu said.

"Lemme down…" Hidan muttered sleepily.

"Fuck," Itachi said, glancing at Hidan. He gently handed Hidan to Sasori, who plopped into the rocking chair.

"Um, I've never taken care of a brat, other than Deidara…I still remember the first night you spent here at the base," Sasori muttered.

"Danna you promised never to speak of that night!" Deidara cried, upset.

"Relax, they don't know," Sasori smirked. He started rocking Hidan. He rocked Hidan for a few minutes, and eventually the little boy fell asleep. Tobi took him to bed and stayed in Hidan's room (OH MY JASHIN, CREEPER).

"What happened the first night Deidara was here?" Pain questioned. He didn't know anything happened, he **HAD** to find out what.

"As you know, we shared a room," Sasori started. Deidara was about to run, but got held down on the couch by Pain.

"It's okay Dei, whatever happened we won't make fun of you for it," Pain assured, smiling, he just wanted to know. Deidara hid his face in Pain's sleeve; he knew they were going to make fun of him.

"Well as you also know, I don't sleep," Sasori continued, smiling at Deidara, this was revenge for Dei blowing up his puppet.

"No, please," Deidara's voice came out as a muffled plea, due to the fact that his face was buried in Pain's arm.

"Okay, so the first night I was at my desk and I heard Deidara sit up and start to cry. I walked over, sat on his bed, and wrapped my arm around his shoulders," Sasori started.

Flashback!

_"Hey brat, what's wrong?" Sasori asked kindly, he felt for the kid, being the youngest and weakest in the Akatsuki had to be hard._

_"C-can you keep a secret un?" Deidara sobbed._

_"Of course I can, now tell me what's wrong," Sasori demanded, he was getting annoyed. He pulled Deidara a little closer to him._

_"I…I w-wet my b-bed un," Deidara sobbed, covering his face with his hands. Sasori was in **shock**. The kid had actually pissed in his bed and on himself…what the hell._

_"It's okay, I'll go get some fresh sheets and clean up the bed, you go get washed up and changed," Sasori soothed, kissing Deidara on the head and pulling his hands away from his face._

_"Th-thanks Sasori danna…" Deidara said softly. Once Deidara had gotten a shower and the bed was all clean, Deidara gave Sasori a hug and went back to bed._

End of flashback

"He wet his bed?" Kisame asked, laughing. Only Pain, Sasori, and Deidara weren't laughing. Pain held Deidara down on the couch and glared at those laughing.

"Stop fucking laughing at Deidara," he growled. Everyone listened and some even felt bad, seeing the hurt look on Deidara's face.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told them Deidara," Sasori 'apologized', smirking. Deidara just shrugged and shifted so he was leaning on Pain.

After awhile Pain took Deidara to have a talk about keeping secrets from the leader of the Akatsuki.

"Let's make Deidara feel better," Kakuzu said. He had an evil glint in his eye and a scary smirk under his mask.

"How do you propose we do that?" Kisame asked, genuinely interested.

"Well, if another Akatsuki member had an accident, he'd feel better," Kakuzu started.

"I'm not pissing in my bed," Kisame said immediately, looking at Kakuzu like he was mad.

"I was talking about Hidan baka," Kakuzu muttered, face palming.

"**You mean the** warm water trick?" Zetsu asked, he wanted to do this!

"Yes, just don't tell Pain," Kakuzu said.

Itachi walked out of the room and got a bowl of warm water, then handed it to Kisame.

"Tobi! Come here," Zetsu called.

"Yes Zetsu-san?" Tobi said, running into the living room.

"Can you go play in your room, please?" Zetsu asked.

"Yes Zetsu-san!" Tobi replied cheerfully, running to his room.

Itachi, Kakuzu, Kisame, Zetsu, and Sasori snuck into Hidan's room. Kakuzu gently placed Hidan's left hand into the warm water that Kisame was holding. After his hand was in the water for about 5 minutes, they all went back to the living room. Kisame dumped out the water, washed the bowl, dried it, and put it away. Tobi skipped back into Hidan's room.

"HIDAN-SAN WAKE UP! TOBI WANTS TO PLAY," Tobi yelled. Hidan shifted and woke up. He felt something wet; he lifted up the covers slightly and looked. Oh no…he wet his bed. Tobi lifted Hidan out of his bed.

"Hidan-san, why did you pee yourself? Now you're bed is all wet," Tobi questioned, he carried the struggling Hidan out to the living room, where Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu, Kakuzu and Pain sat. Everyone except Pain and Deidara started to laugh at Hidan. Then something they didn't expect happened. He started to cry.

"Tobi, why the hell did you carry him out here? You're just embarrassing him un," Deidara snapped, pulling Hidan into his arms. Hidan buried his head in Deidara's cloak, tears still streaming down his face.

"Everyone stop laughing, right now!" Pain yelled angrily. He figured that the child's body was affecting Hidan. They all finally got a hold of themselves and stopped laughing, but most of them were grinning widely. Deidara and Pain got Hidan's bed cleaned while he showered and got changed. Deidara was in the living room with the other guys, minus Pain. Pain went back to his office. Hidan walked into the living room, looking at the floor the entire time. He climbed on the couch next to Deidara and leaned on him.

"It's okay, hmm. These guys are jerks, yeah," Deidara assured Hidan. The other men started making fun of Hidan, calling him a baby, and quite a few other hurtful things. Hidan got up and dashed out of room, he made his eyes tear up. He was planning to get Pain, but he crashed into someone's legs and fell. He looked up and saw…Konan! The blue haired woman's maternal instincts immediately kicked in, seeing Hidan near tears. She lifted him up, cradling him gently.

"Hidan, what's wrong sweet heart?" Konan asked, peering into the purple eyes that were gleaming with tears.

"Th-the guys are p-picking on me, e-everyone except Deidara and Pain," Hidan sniffled. "K-Konan, why are y-you here? I th-thought you were o-on vacation?" He questioned.

"Pain called me and asked me how to take care of a kid, then told me the story, so I came home," Konan said softly. "Wait a damn minute, did you say they were picking on you?" she asked, enraged.

"Y-yes," Hidan sniffled. _"Yes! She's worse than Pain!" _Hidan thought happily.

In the living room

Pain walked in and sat down on the couch.

"I thought that Hidan ran to you," Zetsu said, confused.

"What? No, I haven't seen him," Pain said, he was now confused.

Suddenly Konan walked in, carrying Hidan.

"Okay sweetie, I'm gonna put you down between Pain and Deidara now!" She said sweetly. She gently set Hidan between the two men, and her whole aura changed.

"Uhhh, hi Konan-sama!" Tobi said nervously. Pain and Deidara pulled Hidan out of the room. They went into the kitchen and got something to eat. While they were eating they heard screams of pain, explosions, and several other things. Pain went to inspect the damage once he was done eating his dango.

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE** HELL **DID YOU DO TO THEM?" Pain freaked. The men were lying on the floor in puddles of blood.

"Don't worry dear, they're not dead," Konan assured, kissing Pain. Once the men woke up and got healed, they had to clean up the living room themselves. Konan, Pain, Deidara, and Hidan sat at the kitchen table, playing Uno.


	6. Nicknames!

Chapter 6

In the kitchen

"Yay! I won!" Hidan cheered, jumping around. Konan smiled lovingly at him.

"Congratulations Hidan! You did great," Konan cooed.

"_The **fuck** is up with her? Doesn't she know I'm not really a kid? Well this could work out nicely for me," _Hidan thought. Hidam smiled up at Konan, giving her his cutest look, he asked, "Konan-chan, can I please have some ice cream?"

"Of course!" Konan chirped, rushing to get some from the freezer. "What kind would you like? Chocolate, Vanilla, Cookies N' Cream, Cookie Dough, Fudge Swirl, Mint Chocolate Chip, or Strawberry?"

"Damn, how much ice cream do we have un?" Deidara asked, his eyes wide.

"Strawberry please," Hidan said sweetly. He smiled up at Konan, giving her the cutest look he could. Konan put some strawberry ice cream in a plastic blue bowl, put a spoon in it, and gave it to Hidan.

"Thank you," Hidan said, then began eating. Konan patted his head and walked up to her room. Pain went to his room, sulking because he was beat by a Hidan in Uno. Deidara stayed seated at the table with Hidan.

"Oi Hidan," Deidara said, glancing at the boy. Hidan looked up at the blonde and smiled.

"Yes Dei?" Hidan said innocently.

"I'll wash your dishes, you can't reach the sink without standing on a chair, you'll purposely fall and break your neck," Deidara said nonchalantly.

"Thanks," Hidan muttered, handing Deidara his dishes. "I'm going to find someone to play with me,"

"Okay yeah," Deidara said. He began washing the dishes while Hidan ran out of the room. Hidan ran to see who was in the living room. Sasori, Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu were in there.

"Hey little guy, I got something for you," Kakuzu said, smirking. He forcefully dragged Hidan to his room and pulled a bag out of the closet. The item he pulled out of the bag mortified Hidan…diapers…what the hell! NO!

"WHAT THE HELL KUZU! THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL THAT I'M WEARING THOSE!" Hidan screamed, seething. He ran out of Kakuzu's room and jumped on Itachi's lap.

"What the-" the raven-haired man started. Sasori looked up from his book, a confused expression on his face. Kisame also glanced over, a puzzled expression on his face. Itachi patted Hidan on the head and returned to the book he was reading. Hidan just sat there leaning against Itachi's chest. Eventually he started reading the book, along with Itachi, though Itachi didn't realize.

"Hidan, why did you jump on Itachi's lap?" Kisame asked. He was giving Hidan an odd look.

"I…ummm…Itachi is…Cause I can fucker," Hidan muttered, then continued reading the book, still no one noticed.

"You're one weird little dude," Kisame said, and then continued watching Jaws. Once Itachi finished the book (he was on the first page when Hidan hopped on his lap) he looked down at the boy. Hidan was feeling rather happy, he read the whole book, but no one noticed!

"Hidan, why are you still on my lap? I figured you would've left by now," Itachi asked softly, absently stroking Hidan's hair.

"Do you want me to get off?" Hidan asked sadly, he was really comfortable where he was. Itachi looked at the boy, he was surprised by the sadness in the boy's voice.

"No, it's alright, you can stay," Itachi said. Hidan reminded him of Sasuke when he was younger. Sasori and Kisame were staring wide-eyed at Itachi.

"Did I just hear him right?" Sasori choked out. Kisame turned to Sasori.

"Yes, I think so," he said. They both got up and ran out of the room. Deidara came in the room and plopped on the couch. He then realized Hidan was on Itachi's lap, comfortably leaning against him.

"Oh my Jashin!" Deidara squeaked and grabbed the camera, then took a picture. Itachi and Hidan didn't realize, but most of the Akatsuki members were now in the living room, staring wide-eyed at them, their mouths hanging open in utter shock.

"Tachi carry me to my fucking bed, I'm tired," Hidan whined. Itachi lifted Hidan up with ease and carried him to his room. He gently laid him in bed and sat on the edge.

"Goodnight Hidan," Itachi said softly, tucking him in.

"Night Tachi," Hidan said, yawning and cuddling into the blankets. Itachi stayed in Hidan's room and watched him sleep (Creeper!). He honestly reminded Itachi of his little brother. After awhile he left and strode back into the living room. He sat on the couch, next to Pain.

"**Dude, you're seriously a creeper,"**Zetsu muttered.

"You're one to talk, you creepy plant thing," Kisame muttered.

"You're a mean fish," Zetsu's white half sighed.

"Quiet both of you," Pain growled. He didn't exactly feel like listening to arguing. "Where's Hidan?" he asked.

"I put him to bed, since he was to tired to walk," Itachi said, wondering why he did.

"Alright…" Pain sighed. He was sort of bored. Tobi went to 'check' on Hidan.

With Tobi and Hidan

"Hidan-san wake up!" Tobi shouted. He shook the small boy until the purple eyes snapped open.

"I'm going to fucking sacrifice you," Hidan said drowsily. He climbed out of bed and started down the hall.

"Where are you going?" Tobi asked, he ran out into the living room, flashing right past Hidan, and sat down on the couch. Kisame got up to walk out of the room, but he saw a small tired looking Jashinist walk into the room, so he lifted him up.

"Hey kid," Kisame said, smiling at the tired boy.

"Fishy-san, Tobi woke me up," Hidan whined, laying his head on Kisame's shoulder.

"**Hahaha! He gave you and Itachi nicknames,"** Zetsu laughed.

"Kakuzu is Kuzu, Itachi is Tachi, Kisame is Fishy-san, Zetsu is Zetsy, Leader-sama is Pain, Konan is Blue, Sasori is Sori, Deidara is Dei, and Tobi is Swirly," Hidan said sleepily. He fell back asleep in Kisame's arms, who carried him back to bed. The rest of the Akatsuki members decided to go to bed since they were bored and tired. Hidan woke up awhile later and had a wonderful idea. He got up, went down the hall, and knocked on Konan's door.

"Come in," came a sleepy feminine voice. Hidan walked into the room, closed the door, and ran over to Konan's bed.

"Konan-chan," Hidan sniffled. Konan bolted up, and lifted Hidan into her bed, putting him under the covers.

"What's wrong Hidan?" she asked softly. She stroked his hair and hugged him.

"I had a bad dream, Zetsu ate me!" Hidan 'cried' clinging to Konan.

"Oh honey, it's okay, you can sleep in here with me. Zetsu would never eat you though," Konan assured the boy. She laid down, pulling Hidan to her. She held him close and they both fell asleep.

The Next Morning

Zetsu walked into Konan's room to wake her up, what he saw, shocked him. Hidan was cuddled up against Konan. He took a picture and dashed out to Pain.

"I think Hidan is making a move on Konan," Kisame chuckled once he saw the picture.

"I'm sure he just had a bad dream, he is a kid after all," Pain muttered, not giving the picture a second thought.

"I'm going to wake them up," Zetsu said, going back into Konan's room. He gently shook Konan and Hidan awake.

"AHHHHHHH KONAN-CHAN! HE'S GONNA EAT ME!" Hidan squealed. He clutched Konan's nightgown, and hid his face in her chest.

"I'm not going to eat you Hidan, why do you think that?" Zetsu asked softly, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting his hand on the back of Hidan's head. Konan wrapped her arms around Hidan and looked at Zetsu, smiling softly.

"He had a nightmare last night that you ate him," she said softly, rubbing Hidan's back. She lifted Hidan up, still in her nightgown, and carried him to his room. She waited in the hall while he got dressed, when he came out he looked up at her, and she smiled.

"It's alright, Zetsu won't eat you," she assured, lifting Hidan up. She carried him into the kitchen, where all the other Akatsuki members were seated. She balanced Hidan on her hip while she got a plate for him and a plate for herself and put some food on each plate. She sat down and kept Hidan on her lap. Everyone was staring at her.

"What?" Konan snapped, glaring at the members.

"Why do you have Hidan and why are you in your nightgown hmm?" Deidara questioned, reaching out to lift Hidan off on Konan's lap.

"Don't you **dare **take my baby," Konan growled. "I'm in my nightgown because I didn't change yet, and if you **must **know, Hidan had a nightmare that Zetsu ate him."

Everyone flinched slightly, hearing Konan call **Hidan**, the bloody Jashin worshipper, **her baby**.

"That's odd, but alright," Pain sighed. He glanced at the small Jashinist, who was happily drinking some orange juice. The little boy smiled up at Pain and put his cup on the table. Once everyone was finished eating, they washed the dishes and gathered in the living room for some fun.


	7. Boom!

Chapter 7

In the living room

"GIVE IT BACK YEAH!"

"NO SEMPAI!"

*BOOM*

"Deidara clean up this mess!" Sasori snapped, looking at the pieces of the blown up TV and couch scattered on the floor. Kakuzu was pissed. They would have to spend a lot of money on new furniture and shit!

"Why me un? It was practically Tobi's fault! He took the remote yeah," Deidara whined, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Oi blonde fucker! You didn't have to fucking blown him up!" Hidan growled, sticking his head out from behind Pain's legs.

I bet you all are wondering how this started…well here's how.

Several minutes ago:

Everyone filed into the living room and sat on the couch. Deidara turned on the TV to watch The Orphan. Tobi didn't like the show, so he took the remote and changed the channel to a soap opera.

"Tobi, we were watching that un," Deidara growled, grabbing for the remote.

"Tobi wants to watch his soaps!" Tobi cried, pulling the changer to his chest. Everyone knew where this was going…they all jumped up and moved to the wall. Pain shoved Hidan behind him, getting into a protective stance.

That brings us back to the normal time

"Deidara! Tobi! Clean up this mess, right now! You guys could've killed one of us; hell Hidan is a little kid at the moment! Konan was in here! What would you guys do if you blew up **MY** Konan?" Pain thundered, Hidan darted to Konan, reaching up to her with pleading eyes. Konan gently lifted him up and balanced him on her hip.

"Hai (un)!" Tobi and Deidara cried, rushing to get everything clean. Once everything was clean, everyone piled into two separate vans, and they started out to the store! In the first van were Pain, Konan, Deidara, Sasori, and Hidan. Pain drove, Konan was in the passenger seat, Deidara sat in the middle on the left side, Sasori on the right, and Hidan in between them. In the second van were Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Tobi. Kisame drove, Itachi sat in the passenger seat, Kakuzu was in the back with Zetsu, and Tobi sat in the middle.

Once they arrived at the furniture store, they were having a hard time controlling Kakuzu; he was chasing them around the parking lot, seeing the price of one of the window display couches that Tobi wanted. They quickly ran into the store, Kakuzu hot on their tail, yelling about cost. Pain forced him to settle down, and they all went to look at couches.

"Pain-sama?" a soft voice asked. Pain glanced down, at the boy whose hand he was holding.

"Yes Hidan?" Pain said, looking at a black couch.

"Can we get that couch?" Hidan asked, giving Pain puppy dog eyes. Pain tried to avoid his eyes, but no one can avoid the chibi puppy dog eyes!

"Yes," Pain sighed. They chose that couch, it was one that would wrap around two walls of the living room, on the two ends of the couch, they had handles. They also got a rather large TV, a rocking chair (gotta get Hidan to sleep, lol), and an armchair. Somehow they managed to get it all home (don't ask me how, I only wrote the story). Kisame had to carry Kakuzu's unconscious body to the car; he fainted due to the price. Once they got home and everything was set up, almost all of them sat on the couch, except for Kakuzu. He was unconscious on the floor.

"Ugh, what happened?" Kakuzu slurred. He looked around and remembered. "DAMN!" he screamed in misery and plopped on the couch. Pain was in the armchair with Hidan on his lap. Konan was cooking dinner, once she finished cooking dinner; she called them all into the dining room. She sat Hidan on her lap and fixed them both a plate.

"Yay! Tobi loves spaghetti!" Tobi cheered. They all finished dinner and Hidan got a shower, then he went to bed. Konan came in and kissed him goodnight.

In the living room

"Konan, I think we should take our relationship to the next level," Pain said, smiling at her. Tobi ran out of the room, jumped in his bed, curled into fetal position, murmuring 'Tobi is a good boy' over and over. Kakuzu walked (ran like hell) out of the room calmly (freaked out), locked himself in his bedroom, and then he began counting his money. Zetsu sank through the floor into his room, and tried to fall asleep. Kisame walked quickly to his bedroom and started polishing his Samehada. Itachi followed Kisame; due to the fact he was bored as hell. Deidara was leaning on Sasori, asleep, so Sasori didn't move because he was being nice.

"Sasori, thank you for not running," Pain said. Then he saw Deidara sleeping peacefully, leaning on Sasori. Konan took a picture and smiled. They looked so cute, but she had more important things to deal with, Pain just asked her to take their relationship to the next level!

"So Konan, what do you think?" Pain asked, smiling at her.

"Yes! Ummm…bye the way, what is the next level?" Konan asked, kissing Pain quickly.

"How about sleeping together?" Pain asked, running his hand along Konan's leg. Deidara had been partly awake to hear 'How about sleeping together?'

"What un?" Deidara murmured drowsily, snuggling into Sasori. Sasori shushed Deidara and gently stroked his hair.

"Go back to sleep Deidara," Sasori said softly to his young partner.

"Mmk, night Danna," Deidara muttered, cuddling up to Sasori, falling back asleep quickly. Sasori gave Pain and Konan a weird look.

"If you're going to do that, please, for the sake of the children," Sasori said, shifting and wrapping his arms around Deidara, so the boy is now against his chest (little did Pain and Konan know, he was protecting Deidara's innocence). "Please do it quietly and lock the doors," he finished, pulling Deidara a little closer.

"Wh-what? I meant sleep in the same bed! You dirty puppet!" Pain exclaimed in shock, Konan was giggling. "Why are you giggling like that Konan?" he demanded.

"Now I know why he was pulling Dei closer to him, he wants to protect him!" Konan giggled. Pain raised an eyebrow at the puppet, who carried the blonde to bed.

Everyone went to sleep in their own rooms, except for…Pain and Konan.

Partially through the night, Hidan had one hell of a 'nightmare' and scrambled to Konan's room. He lightly knocked on the door.

"Come in," she called softly. Hidan came in, stopping when he saw Pain in bed with her.

"Did you have another nightmare sweetheart?" Konan asked, getting out of bed and lifting Hidan up.

"Yeah," Hidan sniffled, clinging to Konan's nightgown. Pain looked at the small, terrified boy, and he just melted (not literally).

"Konan, let him sleep in between us, maybe that will make him feel safer," Pain suggested. Konan brought Hidan over to the bed, laid him down beside Pain, and then she laid down beside Hidan. Pain gently stroked his hand through Hidan's hair, watching the boy closely. Hidan cuddled up to Pain, hoping he didn't know that this was an act. He decided to make it a little more realistic. He whimpered and made a few tears course down his face.

"It's alright Hidan," Konan cooed, immediately scooting closer to him, so he was right against Pain and herself.

"Hidan, don't cry. It's alright, we won't let **anything** get you," Pain soothed the small boy, smoothing his hair.

"Th-the monster is g-gonna e-eat me!" Hidan whimpered, clutching the covers, looking around with frightened purple eyes. Pain and Konan both wrapped him in their arms and immediately started giving Hidan soothing words. They all fell asleep like that.

The next morning

Everyone woke up, except for Pain, Konan and Hidan. The Akatsuki members ventured to Konan's room to wake her up. Kisame put his hand on the knob, and started to turn it…


	8. The Zoo!

Chapter 8

Kisame slowly turned the knob…He opened the door and all the Akatsuki members stepped in. The sight that greeted them melted their hearts. I should tell you, the bed is straight across from the door. If you're standing in front of the door facing the bed, here is how the three were laying in bed. Pain was on the right side, Konan on the left, and Hidan in the middle. Pain and Konan both had their arms around Hidan, who was cuddled against them both. Pain and Konan were laying on their side, while Hidan was laying on his back.

"Get the camera un," Deidara whispered. Kakuzu dashed out, got the camera, came back into the room, and immediately took several pictures. Hidan stirred and whimpered in his sleep. Pain and Konan both woke up at once, and shot Hidan concerned looks.

"Hidan baby, wake up honey," Konan said gently, nudging Hidan softly. Hidan woke up and looked over at Konan and Pain. He cuddled to Pain a little, smiling gently.

"Pain, Konan? Can we go to the zoo today?" Hidan asked softly, a small smile gracing his lips. He gave them his chibi puppy dog eyes.

"Of course Hidan," Pain said, kissing the boy on the forehead.

"Anything for our little baby," Konan said, snuggling the little boy.

"**_THEIR_**_ little baby? This could be good," _Hidan thought, smiling. Pain gently patted Hidan on the head.

"We'll bring the whole Akatsuki," Pain said. Everyone other than Konan, Pain, and Hidan's, mouth dropped. They were all happy to go to the zoo, but they wished that Hidan had slept with them, he looked so adorable! (Pedophiles)

"_If I act nice enough, I can get whatever I want,"_ Hidan thought.

"We'll have so much fun!" Konan exclaimed. No one realized that the rest of the Akatsuki was standing there gaping at them. Sasori cleared his throat; he was standing slightly in front of everyone else.

"SASORI!" Hidan shouted, hopping out of bed and glomping Sasori.

"Whoa, you're certainly happy to see that puppet," Kisame commented. Sasori wrapped his arms around the boy, and smiled at him.

"Sasori," Hidan said again, resting his head in the crook of Sasori's neck.

"What?" Sasori asked, while Kakuzu started snapping pictures of the two.

"Are you gonna come to the zoo?" Hidan asked.

"Sure, why not," Sasori sighed, shifting so he was now balancing Hidan on his hip.

"Will the rest of you come?" Hidan asked hopefully.

"Yes," Everyone replied. They didn't want to feel Konan and Pain's wrath if they said no to their new 'baby'. Hell, they were scary enough when they weren't mad. Sasori carried Hidan to the kitchen and sat him in a chair. Konan quickly prepared breakfast for everyone and they all ate.

"Can we go now?" Hidan and Tobi asked in unison. Pain nodded and everyone got loaded into a cargo van (Akatsuki Mobile) and they drove to the zoo.

At the zoo

Everyone split up; they all went in separate directions with their partners.

With Deidara and Sasori

"Sasori Danna, un?" Deidara asked. They were walking side by side.

"Yes Deidara?" Sasori sighed. He wondered what the brat had in store for him today.

"Can I tell you about my dream, hm?" Deidara asked, staring at his feet, refusing to look at Sasori. He expected him to start laughing his ass off.

"I guess," Sasori said, slightly amused by his partners actions. Deidara took a deep breath and began.

"Well it was a dream about Pain-sama and Konan-sama. I was dreaming that they were talking about taking their relationship up a level, un, like starting sex yeah. You were in the dream too, you were holding me and saying 'for the sake of the children do it quietly' and stuff un," Deidara said, smiling.

"Odd dream Deidara," Sasori said quickly. _"HOLY SHIT! HE HEARD THE WHOLE THING WHILE HE WAS ASLEEP! DAMN IT!" _Sasori thought. He patted Deidara on the back and they continued on.

With Tobi and Zetsu

"ZETSU-SAN LOOK AT THE BIG STRIPED KITTY! TOBI LIKES IT," Tobi cheered, pointing at the "big striped kitty" and hopping up and down.

"Tobi, that's a tiger," Zetsu said slowly, making sure Tobi got it.

"Oh, well Tobi likes the tiger!" Tobi chirped. They continued walking around and looking at all the animals, every time they saw a different animal, Tobi hopped up and down excitedly.

With Itachi and Kisame

"Oi Itachi, look at the weasels," Kisame called, pointing at several different weasels in a pen together.

"I don't find that funny Kisame," Itachi sighed.

"I'm sorry Itachi, I didn't mean to make you sad, but look at the weasels!" Kisame said, smiling at Itachi.

"Hn," Itachi muttered, waiting for Kisame to get done looking at the weasels.

"Lets go look at the sharks!" Kisame cheered, grabbing Itachi's hand and pulling him to the Aquarium.

With Konan and Pain

"How do you think Hidan is doing? I hope he's having fun with Kakuzu," Konan said worriedly.

"I'm sure he's having fun dear," Pain said, wrapping an arm around Konan's waist and kissing her quickly on the lips.

"You're probably right," Konan said, smiling. They continued on from where they were, which was looking at the birds.

With Kakuzu and Hidan

"I wish I could ride on the giraffe," Hidan said, looking at the large animal.

"You'd get killed dumb ass," Kakuzu growled, dragging Hidan away.

"I'm immortal fucker! Quit pulling me, I can walk my-HEY! Look at the ostrich!" Hidan shouted, trying to pull away from Kakuzu to see it. Kakuzu walked over to the ostrich exhibit, still holding Hidan's hand. He suddenly got an idea, he wrapped one of his threads around Hidan's neck and held the end so it was like a dog leash, and he then let go of Hidan's hand.

"WHAT THE FUCK KAKUZU! I'LL SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN-SAMA!" Hidan screeched in annoyance.

"Calm down, you're drawing attention to us brat," Kakuzu growled.

"FUCK NO!" Hidan screamed. Kakuzu sighed and face palmed.

"If you stop screaming, I'll…buy…you any toy you want from the gift shop," Kakuzu sighed, hating that he had to pay for something Hidan wanted.

"Mmk," Hidan agreed. Kakuzu took Hidan to the gift shop and sighed when he saw the price on some of the stuff, it was damn expensive. He already knew Hidan was going to pick the most expensive thing. Hidan decided to get a stuffed animal; he knew everyone would think he's just an innocent little kid. A few minutes later Hidan walked back over to Kakuzu, holding a stuffed teddy bear.

"Kakuzu-san? Can I get the teddy bear?" Hidan asked, giving Kakuzu the chibi puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, I promised you anything you wanted," Kakuzu sighed. He paid for the teddy bear, expecting it to be one of the more expensive ones. The teddy bear was only $5.00! He was shocked as hell. He handed the teddy bear to Hidan, who immediately clutched it to his chest and smiled up at Kakuzu.

"Happy now?" Kakuzu hissed. He had an image to keep up.

"Yeah, thank you Kuzu," Hidan said in a small voice. He picked something cheap, so he didn't know why Kakuzu sounded mad at him, he even used the chibi puppy dog eyes!

"Whatever," Kakuzu muttered. _"He seems to really like that teddy bear. He does look kinda cute, wait! WHAT THE HELL! I hate kids, and this is Hidan! Oh fuck it, he's really cute!" _

"Kakuzu, Hidan, un!" Deidara waved. Hidan ran over to him, Kakuzu following behind.

"Hi Deidara! Hi Sasori!" Hidan chirped, smiling.

"Did the miser buy you a teddy bear kid?" Kisame asked, coming up and ruffling Hidan's hair.

"Yeah," Hidan answerd, smiling widely. He hugged his teddy bear tighter and smiled at Itachi.

"Hi Tachi!" Hidan said, smiling up at him.

"Hn," Itachi grunted, sitting on the bench beside Sasori, who was now in between Deidara and Itachi. Kisame stood near the bench, and Kakuzu stood beside Hidan.

"HEY EVERYONE!" Tobi shouted, running up to them, dragging Zetsu with him.

"Hey Tobi, Zetsu," Deidara greeted.

"Hey boys, did you all have fun?" Konan asked walking up with Pain.

"I guess," Zetsu, Sasori, and Kakuzu muttered.

"Yes," Tobi, Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara chirped.

"No, Kisame was picking on me," Itachi sighed.

"Fishy-san what did you say to Taci?" Hidan asked.

"I told him to look at the weasels," Kisame smirked.

"What's mean about that?" Tobi asked.

"BAKA! I'm almost blind! I can barely see anything!" Itachi snapped.


	9. Save Fishysan!

Chapter 9

Itachi swung at what he thought was Tobi. His fist connected dead on...with a tree...

"Hahaha! Itachi you just punched a tree!" Hidan laughed, he was in Konan's arms, enjoying her kisses.

"Hn," Itachi muttered angrily. He walked away from the group and Kisame followed.

"Itachi-san, are you alright?" Kisame asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Yes, I'm just going to the car-who the hell has my damned hand?" Itachi growled.

"Tobi does, you're going the wrong way Itachi-san," Tobi said, dragging the swearing man to the car. They arrived home and Hidan still hadn't set his teddy bear down.

"Hidan-san are you going to put the teddy bear down?" Tobi asked, curiously.

"No," Hidan simply stated, he then jumped up on the couch by Sasori and snuggled up. Everyone was a little confused as to why Kakuzu bought him that bear, but no one wanted to voice the question, except one daring soul.

"Why did you buy Hidan a teddy bear?" Konan (of course the girl is the daring soul! Who did you think it would be? A guy? Haha) asked.

"I bought it for him because he was being an ass," Kakuzu muttered, counting his money.

"I'm guessing that was the most expensive thing that the gift shop had?" Kisame asked, smiling at the thought.

"No, it was one of the cheapest things…it was only $5.00," Hidan muttered sleepily. Everyone went to bed, except Sasori. He doesn't sleep. About halfway through the night Hidan had another 'nightmare' and got up to go to Konan and Pain's room. When he got there, he heard some not so inviting noises and words. He heard 'Ohhh Pain faster' and 'harder' and several other noises.

"Wow…I'm not going in there, I'll go sleep with Dei," Hidan murmured to himself. He walked down the hall and knocked on Deidara's door.

"Come in un," Deidara groaned drowsily. Hidan came in and shut the door behind him. He walked over to Deidara's bed and looked up at him.

"Dei can I sleep with you? I had a nightmare…" Hidan whimpered, 'tears' running down his face. Deidara lifted Hidan up onto the couch, and began rubbing soothing circles on the boys back.

"You usually go sleep with Leader-sama and Konan-sama, why did you come in here tonight un?" Deidara asked, laying down with Hidan. He pulled the covers over them and smiled at the boy

"They're doing bad stuff," Hidan sniffled, cuddling to Deidara.

"Like what un?" Deidara asked, until he heard a rather loud 'FASTER PAIN FASTER' from the room down the hall. He immediately covered Hidan's ears. He texted Itachi, since his room was on the opposite end of the hall that Konan and Pain's room was, asking if he could bring Hidan there. Itachi sent back a yes. Deidara came in with Hidan in his arms and sat on the bed near Itachi.

"You look tired," Itachi observed, laying a hand on the blondes forehead.

"I am," Deidara yawned. They got Zetsu, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori to come into Itachi's room.

"**What the hell do you guys want at one in the damn morning,"** Zetsu growled.

"Hidan, baby, tell them what you heard," Itachi said softly.

"Ohhhhh, faster Pain! Ohhhh, harder, and stuff like that," Hidan said smiling. Deidara stayed in the room with Hidan while the rest of the men stood outside of Konan and Pain's door.

"HELL YEAH BITCH!" Pain shouted. Sasori pounded on the door.

"J-just a second," Konan called. They heard rustling and bumping. A disheveled Pain opened the door.

"Yes?" he said, looking a little surprised.

"I said to do it quietly for the sake of the children, Hidan and Deidara heard you," Sasori growled.

"Oh shit," Pain muttered.

"What's going on?" Konan asked, looking disheveled like Pain.

"The kids heard you darling," Kisame said, smirking.

"Don't fucking 'darling' her!" Pain snapped, tackling Kisame.

"OH FUCK!" Kisame shouted.

"They just did that," Kakuzu said, smiling under his mask.

"Shut the fuck up Kakuzu," Konan growled, glaring at him.

"S-sorry Konan-sama," Kakuzu stuttered, taking a step back. Pain and Konan went to Itachi's room.

"Everyone except Hidan out, now," Pain ordered.

"It's my room," Itachi muttered. The next thing he knew he was thrown out of the door. He ended up landing on Zetsu and activating Sharingan so the plant man didn't eat him.

With Konan, Pain, and Hidan

"Hidan, dear, what you heard hopefully won't scar you," Pain began, but got hit in the head by Konan.

"What he means to say is, it's normal for adults to do that kind of thing when they love each other. Are you alright?" Konan asked.

"Hell yeah, I know what sex is," Hidan said sleepily, rubbing one eye and yawning. Konan and Pain looked surprised at this, wasn't he losing his adult brain?

"It must be how tired he is," Pain murmured. Suddenly the door opened and Itachi trudged in, he lifted Hidan up, gave him to Deidara, and went to sleep in his bed. Pain and Konan just stared at him then at each other. They shrugged and went back to bed.

Everyone followed their example. Hidan still got to sleep with Deidara, yay!

2 weeks later

Everyone sat in silence, staring at Konan and Pain.

"D-did you just say you're taking Hidan's stuff from him?" Kakuzu managed to ask.

"Yes, he could hurt himself with some of it," Konan stated.

"Don't take my teddy!" Hidan whimpered, clutching his bear closer. _"These assholes better not take my stuff, I'll fucking sacrifice them all," _Hidan thought angrily.

"Hidan, calm down. We're only taking the objects that could hurt you, such as your scythe, kunai, knives, any blades, poisons, pretty much anything sharp, etc," Pain stated, patting the small Jashinist on the back.

"A-alright," Hidan sniffled, letting his grip on the bear loosen slightly. The Akatsuki went to work cleaning up Hidan's room and putting way the weapons and things of theirs that could hurt him. Currently Hidan was with Sasori, watching him clean and playing with his teddy.

"Are you having fun un?" Deidara asked, coming into Sasori's room and squatting down in front of Hidan, ruffling his hair.

"Why are you here, brat?" Sasori sighed, looking at Deidara.

"To see Hidan un," Deidara said smiling. "He's gotten so different and nicer since he's turned little, yeah!" he chirped.

"SASORI, DEIDARA HELP ME!" Kisame yelled, obviously panicking.

"WHAT'S WRONG UN?" Deidara yelled back, annoyed.

"I'M DROWNING IN MY CLOSET, HELP!" Kisame yelled back, his voice getting weaker.

"YOU'RE A SHARK UN!" Deidara screamed back.

"IT'S NOT WATER! IT'S JUNK THAT'S CRUSHING ME! HELP! NO ONE ELSE WILL SAVE ME; YOU TWO ARE MY LAST DAMN HOPE! SO GET THE FUCK IN HERE," Kisame yelled.

"We'll be right back, stay here," Sasori commanded Hidan, rushing out of the room with Deidara to save the shark man.

"HURRY AND SAVE FISHY-SAN!" Hidan called after them. He continued playing with his teddy bear, until someone walked in the room, took it, and left. Hidan started to 'cry' but he stayed in the room like he was supposed too.


	10. Baby!

Chapter 10

"Hang on Kisame un!" Deidara shouted, digging through Kisame's closet to save him. "HOLY SHIT WHAT'S THAT?" he screamed, and tumbled out of the closet. Finally Deidara and Sasori managed to find Kisame's arms and they started pulling them.

"Ow ow ow OW OW OW!" Kisame yelped. The pile of junk in his closet eventually crashed down onto Deidara and Sasori.

"Damn it," Sasori muttered.

"Danna un, we left Hidan all alone!" Deidara cried, struggling to get free.

"HELP! SOME GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! DEIDARA, SASORI, AND I ARE DROWNING IN MY CLOSET!" Kisame shouted. Finally Kakuzu came in and used his threads to free the men.

"Clean up your closet," Kakuzu muttered and left. Sasori and Deidara ran back to Sasori's room and saw Hidan crying.

"HIDAN UN!" Deidara shrieked. Hidan's head snapped up and he held his arms out to Sasori.

"Fine," Sasori sighed and lifted Hidan up.

"Where's your teddy bear un?" Deidara asked, scanning the room.

"Someone took it," Hidan sniffled.

"Who?" Sasori asked calmly, rubbing circles on Hidan's back to calm him down. Deidara went out of the room and got Konan.

"I can't tell you, I don't want to be a tattletale," Hidan muttered, resting his head in the crook of Sasori's neck. Then they heard a loud bang.

"WHO THE HELL TOOK MY BABY'S BEAR?" Konan screamed. She grabbed each member and dragged them to the living room. The only people she didn't drag was Sasori and Hidan, she let them follow her. Once everyone was in the living room the investigation began. I say it went very well.

"What's this about?" Pain muttered, looking at Konan. Hidan was on the floor next to her.

"Someone stole his teddy bear and I want to know who," Konan growled, pointing at Hidan.

"Not me," Everyone said in unison. Hidan tugged on Konan's cloak and she looked down at him.

"Yes?" Konan asked sweetly.

"Zetsu's black half took it, he didn't have the nicer half connected," Hidan sniffled. He got up and hid behind Konan so Zetsu's black half didn't eat him.

"WHAT? WE SPLIT UP TO CLEAN AND YOU GO AND STEAL A LITTLE KIDS TEDDY BEAR?" Zetsu yelled at himself.

"**Pretty much," **Zetsu said back to himself, smiling. He took Hidan's bear and hid it, he considered himself a genius for that. Suddenly Hidan attacked him, but an annoyed Uchiha pulled him off.

"Zetsu go get the teddy bear and give it back to Hidan then apologize," Itachi demanded. Zetsu darted out of the room and came back with the bear; he threw it at full force and hit Hidan in the face with it.

"Zetsu, let's have a talk," Konan said with a sickly sweet voice. She dragged Zetsu to her bedroom and locked the door.

"Pain-sama you better go get your lady," Kisame said smirking. Pain rolled his eyes, but on the inside he was like 'OH SHIT!' He slowly rose and walked out of the room, and then he ran like hell to Konan's room. He started banging on the door. Konan opened it and saw Pain.

"What's wrong?" She asked immediately, laying her hand on his cheek and gazing lovingly into his eyes.

"Don't fuck Zetsu!" he growled out and came into the room. Konan's eyes widened and she slammed her door shut and locked it again.

"I wouldn't fuck a plant, only you," Konan murmured seductively. They locked Zetsu in the closet, put a Do Not Disturb sign up and got to work.

"**They're fucking again,"** Zetsu muttered as he rose out of the floor.

"Why the fuck didn't you join them?" Hidan asked, smirking.

"**They threw me in a damn closet,"** Zetsu growled. He sat down on the couch and turned on the nature channel. Everyone sighed and the fight for the remote began.

"Sasori, can I go sleep in your room?" Hidan asked, rubbing his left eye with his tiny fist. He held his teddy bear to his chest with his right arm.

"Why my room?" Sasori asked, lifting Hidan onto his lap.

"Just cause," Hidan yawned and drifted off to sleep. Sasori carried him into his room and placed him under the covers of his bed. His bed was rather clean because he had never used it, due to the fact he was a puppet.

"I just thought of why you wanted to stay here," Sasori muttered to the sleeping child. "Your room is to close to Pain-sama and Konan-same," he muttered then chuckled. He began to work on his puppets while Hidan was napping.

The Next Day

Hidan is outside playing, he wandered quite far from the base and no one was watching him. He heard a rustle in the bushes and walked closer.

"Who the hell is there?" Hidan growled. The man and woman who turned him into a kid came out of the bush.

"Hi there dear, I've got a new jutsu," the woman snarled at him. She did several hand signs and Hidan felt everything around him growing.

"Awww look at the little baby!" the woman cooed. The man snickered at him and they disappeared in a puff of smoke. Hidan couldn't stand up or talk, so he started wailing his lungs out.

"Where's Hidan?" Itachi asked, walking up to the other members.

"He's right over-HIDAN!" Kisame yelled. Konan and Pain went on a mission and left the guys in charge of Hidan, they already lost him. Everyone split up and began running around frantically searching for Hidan. Finally, several miles from the base, Deidara found a baby with silver hair, purple eyes, and a Jashinist necklace. When the baby saw Deidara it lifted its arms up, signaling to him that it wanted to be picked up. Deidara quickly lifted the baby up and stared at it.

"Hidan un?" Deidara asked, cradling the baby against his chest. In response, the baby cuddled to him. "It is you un!" he said in shock. He ran back to the front of the base, still outside, and waited for the others. After awhile they all came back.

"HIDAN'S A BABY! TOBI WANT'S TO HOLD HIM!" Tobi yelled, bouncing up and down excitedly.

"No un!" Deidara growled. He cradled Hidan and kissed him on the forehead. Sasori gently took Hidan from Deidara's arms and smiled, he SMILED, at Hidan.

"He's so small," Sasori said is awe, cradling the baby close to him. Hidan cuddled to Sasori and closed his eyes. Hidan was in the shirt he had on when the lady transformed him again. The shirt was too big, but it covered him.

"Everyone, we're going shopping," Itachi said. Everyone piled into the cargo van (thank Jashin Pain and Konan were gone) and left. Hidan was still sleeping happily in Sasori's arms. They arrived at a large mall.

"So what are we doing?" Zetsu asked, staring hungrily at Hidan. He wanted to eat the child right now.

"Sasori, Deidara, take Hidan and get him clothes. Tobi, Zetsu, Kakuzu, go get him food and diapers. Kisame and I will get a changing table and a few other things such as bottles and bibs," Itachi said. Everyone split up and went to buy what they were assigned to.

"Have him try this on un!" Deidara said to Sasori. He handed him a black pair of footed pajamas, which fit Hidan perfectly. Once they bought all of the clothes they needed for Hidan, they met up with the others. After they shopped a little while longer, they paid and headed home.

"I'm going to get Hidan dressed," Deidara said and carried Hidan to his bedroom. He put him in a diaper, some black sweatpants, and a black shirt. Eventually Hidan started to cry and Deidara carried him to Itachi.

"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu muttered, reading a book.

"Give him here," Itachi muttered. He carried Hidan to the kitchen and got a bottle ready for him, and then he walked back into the living room. Deidara, Kisame, and Tobi were watching TV, Kakuzu and Zetsu were reading, and Sasori was building Hidan's crib.

"Sasori, I don't want to feed him and I think you're the only other one who knows how to feed a baby," Itachi said, handing Sasori Hidan and the bottle.

"Hey Hidan," Sasori said softly, smiling at the baby. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with Hidan in his arms. He started to feed Hidan and Hidan happily drank. Once he was done drinking and Sasori took the bottle, he started to cry. Sasori put a small towel on his shoulder and burped Hidan, who threw up on the towel.

"Hey little guy, did Sasori Danna feed you to much un?" Deidara asked and took the crying baby from Sasori. Deidara made a miniature clay bird and exploded it, which made Hidan stop crying and giggle. "Art is a bang un," Deidara said, smirking at Sasori.

"Fool, art is eternal," Sasori growled, and then he continued to work on Hidan's crib. Deidara continued to make small explosions to make Hidan happy. He loved his art being appreciated. After awhile Kisame realized Hidan was sucking his thumb. He stood up and walked out of the room, he came back in 5 minutes later and took Hidan's thumb out of his mouth and put the pacifier he just got into Hidan's mouth. Hidan rested his head on Deidara's chest and let his tiny arms rest of either side of his head.

"He's falling asleep un, what do I do?" Deidara asked Itachi. Itachi looked at Deidara like he was an idiot.

"You're an idiot, let him sleep where he is," Itachi growled, staring at Deidara.

"Okay un," Deidara muttered unsurely. Sasori finished putting the crib together and began to paint it. He was painting it Akatsuki style! Black with red clouds!

"Tobi thinks Hidan-san looks cute!" Tobi said, taking a picture of Deidara holding Hidan. "He's so little! He's a cute baby!" Tobi chirped.


	11. I Love You!

**Warning: The guys in this chapter are totally OOC.**

* * *

Chapter 11

"Tobi un, put that camera away, un," Deidara hissed quietly. While Hidan was asleep the crib dried.

"Whose room should I put this in? He can't sleep alone anymore and I don't think he should sleep with Leader-sama and Konan-sama," Sasori said looking around the room.

"I think he should sleep in Deidara's room, he seems to like him," Kakuzu smirked. Deidara shook his head no and pointed at Itachi.

"Itachi's room un," Deidara said quietly.

"Tobi says take a vote!" Tobi yelled out waking Hidan up. Hidan began crying and fidgeting on Deidara. Deidara handed Hidan to Kakuzu and jumped behind his Danna incase Kakuzu tried to attack him.

"Tobi go take care of him," Itachi demanded. Tobi snatched Hidan up and ran out of the room.

"Tobi is going to change you Hidan-san!" Tobi said brightly. He placed Hidan on the changing table and got a new diaper. He paused and ran out to the living room. "How does Tobi change Hidan?" Tobi asked. Itachi sighed and walked into the 'baby room' they made for Hidan. Itachi quickly undressed Hidan and slipped off his diaper. He quickly laid a cloth over Hidan's 'area' so he wouldn't piss on him. He quickly powdered Hidan and put him in a new diaper. He put him in some clothes and carried him into the living room.

"He needs fed," Itachi said handing Hidan to Sasori.

"Sasori Danna overfed him un," Deidara said and crossed his arms. Itachi shrugged and glared at his enemy. Deidara glared right back before sighing.

"Ugh, I'll feed him," Kisame growled and heated up a bottle. He came back into the room and took Hidan from Sasori. He began feeding him and after a few minutes he stopped feeding him. Hidan began bawling so Kisame draped a towel over his shoulder and tried to burp him, that didn't stop his bawling.

"Kisame shut him up," Kakuzu growled. After a few more minutes he got fed up and took Hidan and the bottle. Kakuzu started feeding Hidan and after a few more minutes he stopped and burped Hidan. Hidan smiled and giggled for no reason. He reached his tiny hands up to Kakuzu's face and pulled on his mask. "NO!" Kakuzu yelled. Hidan burst into tears. Deidara sighed and took his friend from Kakuzu.

"There there Hidan un," Deidara soothed rocking Hidan back and forth in the rocking chair. Eventually Hidan stopped crying and he started sucking his thumb. Deidara frowned and pulled Hidan's thumb out of his mouth and replaced it with a pacifier.

"We're home! Where's my baby?" Konan called. Pain came into the living room and stopped short. He walked over to Deidara and lifted Hidan up.

"Konan, darling, come in here," Pain called. Konan came in the room and squealed.

"OH KAWAII!" Konan screamed and tried to pull Hidan out of Pain's arms. Pain didn't let her; he held Hidan closer to his chest and smiled at the baby.

"You're so cute together!" Konan murmured and ran a hand through her hair. She managed to get Hidan from Pain and she took him to the 'baby room' with Itachi, Sasori, Tobi, Zetsu, Kisame, and Kakuzu. Pain was sitting in an armchair now and Deidara stayed behind.

"Ummmmm...Pain-sama un?" Deidara said nervously fidgeting around. Pain raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

"Yes Deidara? Please make it quick, I'm tired and I'm not in the mood to hear your complaining," Pain muttered and ran a hand over his face.

"N-never mind un," Deidara said and raced out of the room. Pain sighed, great, one baby and one over emotional male. What to do? He ran after Deidara and caught him.

"We'll talk after I rest, okay?" Pain asked. Deidara sniffed and nodded, wiping away the tears in his eyes. Pain sighed and let Deidara go and went to bed. Deidara walked aimlessly down the halls for who knows how long. After a while he made it back to his room and went to sleep. Everyone else followed suit. Little Hidan slept in Konan's room, her and Pain were sleeping in separate rooms since the sex thing.

I'm going to fast forward time to after dinner the next day.

"P-Pain-sama un?" Deidara said softly. He and Pain were the only ones left in the living room again; the others were busy with Hidan and Konan.

"Yes Deidara?" Pain asked sighing. He figured Deidara was going to ask for some more stuff.

"A-are you still t-tired un?" Deidara asked shyly. He was looking at everything but Pain.

"No, what do you want? More money, furniture, beauty products, what?" Pain asked unhappily.

"I…I wanted to know if we could talk…about some stuff un," Deidara said softly. Pain sighed.

"We better go to my bedroom to talk, I have a feeling you're going to start crying," Pain said. He stood up and went to his bedroom with Deidara. Once they were in Pain sat down on his bed leaning against the pillows. He patted the spot beside him for Deidara. Deidara walked over and sat down near him, still not looking at him. "So what's up Deidara?" Pain asked carefully.

"W-well…P-Pain I like s-someone and I don't k-know how to t-tell them un," Deidara said nervously. Pain started laughing his ass off at Deidara. Deidara started to cry and glared at Pain. "I th-thought you t-told me I c-could talk to you about a-anything un!" he sobbed. Pain quickly stopped laughing and wrapped an arm around Deidara's shoulders.

"You can, I just find it a little funny you're having such a problem talking about it. So who is she?" Pain asked. Deidara's sobs quit and he turned a dark red.

"P-Pain-sama, I'm gay un," Deidara said in a small voice.

"Oh, that's okay," Pain said shrugging. "Soooo tell me!" Pain said anxiously. Deidara gave a small laugh.

"We sound like a bunch of teenage girls un," Deidara said softly unconsciously leaning into Pain. Pain twitched at the contact, but didn't do anything. Pain laughed also.

"I don't mind, I'm bored. When we're together, only us two, I guess we can act like this, we are friends, right?" Pain asked. Deidara nodded his head and smiled. "Do I know this guy? Is he in the Akatsuki?" Pain asked.

"Yes and yes un," Deidara said turning a light red.

"Who is it? Who is it? You have to tell me," Pain demanded.

"I can't un! You'll say I can't love him un, he doesn't love me, but I want him to know I love him un," Deidara spilled suddenly. Pain sighed and frowned at him.

"I won't tell you who to love Dei, I'm sure whoever you love will love you back," Pain said gently.

"IT'S SASORI OKAY? I LOVE SASORI UN!" Deidara yelled. The others had gone out and Sasori decided to stay. When Deidara yelled that he was passing the bedroom. He froze in mid-stride and stared at the door.

"Oh my god," Sasori whispered to himself and ran to his room. Pain smiled and hugged Deidara tightly.

"Tell him how you feel, I'm sure he'll return the feelings," Pain said gently.

"O-okay un, I'll tell him," Deidara said and hugged Pain. He ran out of the room to Sasori's. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Sasori called. Deidara came in and shut the door behind him. "How can I help you Deidara?" Sasori asked.

"S-Sasori…I've got something t-to tell you," Deidara said nervously. A blush settled itself on his face.

"What is it?" Sasori asked. Deidara took another deep breath.

"Sasori-Danna I really like you!" Deidara said quickly and turned red. Sasori smiled and moved to stand in front of Deidara.

"I've got a secret for you blondie," Sasori whispered into Deidara's ear. "I like you too," he said then kissed him passionately on the lips. Deidara smiled and Sasori hugged him. "I think you've got a friend to go tell," Sasori teased. Deidara turned red. "I heard you yelling," Sasori said quickly.

"I'm going to tell him," Deidara said quickly and ran into Pain's room. He tackled Pain in a hug. "He said he likes me and he kissed me Pain-sama!" Deidara squealed. Pain closed his door and locked it. He and Deidara jumped around the room happily once Deidara told him every detail. (OOC) Deidara returned Sasori and they climbed into bed. They made out for awhile and then Deidara fell asleep and Sasori watched him contently.

* * *

**I know everyone is ooc, please don't be mad! I'll try to make the next chapter better!**


	12. Bunny!

Chapter 12

The Next Day

Everyone woke with a start when a loud wail pierced the air.

"Hidan, shhh," Konan said softly rocking the baby back and forth. He stopped screaming, but tears continued to stream down his little face. Konan carried him out to the kitchen where all of the other grumpy Akatsuki members were drinking coffee (except Sasori, he can't drink).

"What's he crying for?" Pain asked sounding annoyed. Konan shrugged.

"I think he's hungry so I'm going to feed him then give him a bath!" Konan chirped.

"Konan shouldn't you make Kisame or Tobi bath him? I mean he is still a man, just in a baby body," Kakuzu said carefully. Konan shot him a death glare.

"Kakuzu is right," Itachi stated while eating dango. Konan pouted and held Hidan closer.

"Give him to me Konan," Pain said in a stern voice.

"But Pain, the baby mind is taking over his body!" Konan whined. Pain sighed in annoyance and gave Konan a stern look.

"Konan, feed him then give him to someone so that they can bath him," Pain demanded. Konan sighed and walked away mumbling. Konan handed Hidan to Sasori and heated a bottle for him. Once it was at the right temperature she took him from Sasori and fed him. She draped a towel over her shoulder and burped him once he drank everything. She sighed and reluctantly handed Hidan to Kisame.

"You're a fish so I think you're the safest person to bath him," Konan said. Kisame sweat dropped and carried Hidan to the bathroom.

"Hey Hidan, I'm not going to let you drown," Kisame said gently. He quickly bathed Hidan, being extra careful because Hidan was just a little baby and could easily drown. Once he was done, he wrapped Hidan up in a fluffy towel that had the Akatsuki pattern on it. He kept Hidan in the towel and carried him to the baby room. "SOMEONE COMES DRESS HIDAN!" Kisame shouted. Tobi raced into the room, put a diaper on Hidan, put some black pants on him, and put a black shirt with the Akatsuki cloud on him before Kisame even knew what was happening.

"He's dressed!" Tobi exclaimed happily. Kisame shook his head and went to the living room.

"Where's Hidan?" Konan asked gravely.

"With Tobi," Kisame answered nonchalantly. Five minutes pass and then…

"WITH TOBI (UN)" Zetsu, Konan, Pain, and Deidara yell. Zetsu sinks through the floor and comes back a few minutes later with a giggling baby.

"He's** alive,**" Zetsu stated. He handed Hidan to Kakuzu and smirked. "Get to know your partner," Zetsu said and sat on the couch beside Konan.

"Yeah, Deidara and Sasori, I think you two should do the same," Konan piped in.

"We know each other well enough un," Deidara said. Sasori wrapped an arm around Deidara's shoulders and kissed him, which led to a hot make out session, which Konan enjoyed. Zetsu and Kisame's mouth dropped, Itachi and Konan stared, Pain clapped, and Kakuzu covered Hidan's eyes. Once the two men separated Kakuzu uncovered Hidan's eyes and Hidan held his little arms out to his blonde friend. Deidara lifted him up and Hidan gave him a look, as if to say 'Why didn't you tell me'.

"Oh my gosh!" Kisame and Konan gasped.

"**EW! **Awwww," Zetsu said.

"Take it in the other room," Kakuzu growled. Deidara pouted at them and cuddled into Sasori's side.

"Come on! Get it on!" Pain cheered. He saw the glares everyone but Sasori and Deidara where sending him. "Just give me Hidan first?" Pain guessed, hoping that's what they wanted him to say. Everyone sighed and rolled their eyes at their leader.

"You sound like a girl," Kisame said to Pain.

"I will kill you," Pain growled. Kisame shrank back and poked Itachi.

"Itachi help," Kisame begged. Itachi shook his head and stared at Deidara and Sasori.

" If you two wake me up tonight, I'll kill you both," Itachi said, and with that, he left the room. Deidara blushed and Sasori looked away. Zetsu took Hidan from Deidara and winked.

"Don't encourage them! Remember Pain-sama and Konan-sama?" Kisame asked, a warning tone in his voice.

"Danna please make them stop un," Deidara said softly.

"One more word and I will poison your dinners," Sasori growled. He protectively put his arms around Deidara and glared daggers at everyone. Hidan started to cry and Zetsu took him out of the room.

"Oh Hidan is so cute as a baby! When he's back to normal, I hope he's nicer," Konan sighed. Everyone else did too; they liked him better when he was sweet. Zetsu sighed and got a bottle ready for Hidan, he just figured that Hidan was hungry again. Zetsu's white half put a small towel on his shoulder and started trying to feed Hidan. Hidan rejected the bottle and tears continued to flow down his little face.

"You're not hungry? What's wrong then? **Shut it,**" Zetsu asked/growled. He sighed, dumped the milk down the sink, washed and dried the bottle, and then he put it away. "Hush little baby don't say a word, Zetsu's gonna buy you a mocking bird, if that mocking bird won't sing, **I'll fucking eat it,**" Zetsu sang. Zetsu's white half gasped and tried to glare at his black half. "He's a baby! **Shut up,**" Zetsu said. Zetsu sat down on the kitchen floor and sighed, what was he going to do? The living room wasn't safe and neither was Tobi or Itachi. Zetsu continued thinking of what to do while Hidan continued sobbing his tiny heart out, all he wanted was a hug for some reason. Kakuzu strode into the room and stopped.

"Why's he crying? Is he hungry?" Kakuzu asked. Zetsu shrugged and shook his head no.

"He's just crying to cry I guess," Zetsu said. Kakuzu sighed and lifted Hidan up off on Zetsu's lap; he held him away from his body by his little waist and glared at him.

"Hey Hidan, shut up," Kakuzu said. Hidan stared at Kakuzu, he was still crying. "Stop crying," Kakuzu demanded. Hidan simply continued his crying. He reached his hands out to Kakuzu, trying to get closer.

"Kakuzu, hold him closer," Zetsu said and went outside to the garden. Kakuzu sighed and held Hidan closer to him. Hidan snuggled to Kakuzu's chest and his tears slowed rather quickly.

"Is that all you wanted?" Kakuzu asked. Hidan snuggled closer in response. "Alright then, I guess I'll just…carry you around," Kakuzu said unsurely. Kakuzu went to the baby room and got a sling like thing. He put it around his neck laid Hidan in it. Now Hidan was resting against his chest and he didn't even have to hold him. He walked to his room, sat down at his desk, glanced at the now sleeping Hidan, and began working on the Akatsuki funds.

Somewhere else

"Honey, I've got a new jutsu to try on that boy," the lady that transformed Hidan to a child and a baby giggled.

"I can't wait to see it Rika," the man said.

"I bet you can't Takeo," Rika giggled. They got some of the supplies they needed and left.

Back at the base

Kakuzu sighed, he had to go to the store and Hidan was still sleeping so he figured he would bring him. As he walked to the store, Hidan started to wake up. He gave a small whimper and cuddled closer to Kakuzu.

"Hidan go back to sleep," Kakuzu growled and continued walking.

"Excuse me sir!" Rika called to Kakuzu. She used a transformation jutsu to look different.

"Yes, how may I help you?" Kakuzu asked eyeing the woman critically.

"Would you like me to baby sit your little one?" Rika asked smiling sweetly.

"How much?" Kakuzu asked.

"Oh I don't charge, I run a free daycare center," Rika said smiling. Kakuzu took off the sling and gave Hidan to Rika.

"I'll be back here in one hour," Kakuzu muttered and went to the store.

"TAKEO!" Rika shouted. Takeo came out of the bushes and stood beside her smirking. Rika released her jutsu and Hidan's little eyes widened when he saw who she was. "Now now my little test subject," Rika said and sat him on the ground. She quickly did some hand signs and Hidan changed…again…this time he was around 13 years old. Takeo reached in the bag they brought and gave Hidan clothes. Hidan quickly slipped them on, blushing. "Bye bye now," Rika said sweetly and left. Hidan was about to cry, but held back the tears. During all of this Kakuzu finished shopping, took everything home, and put it away. Now he was on his way back for Hidan.

"FUCKING ASSHOLES, I'LL SACRIFICE YOU HEATHENS TO JASHIN-SAMA!" Hidan screamed. Kakuzu heard this and took off, when he arrived Hidan was all alone and he looked like he might cry.

"Hidan! Are you okay?" Kakuzu asked. Hidan turned around and saw Kakuzu standing there.

"No…they keep changing me and I don't like it!" Hidan yelled angrily.

"Don't yell, you're annoying," Kakuzu growled. _"Oh great, he's at the annoying hormonal age," _Kakuzu thought.

"Shut the fuck up!" Hidan yelled angrily. He heard a rustling in the bushes and immediately latched onto Kakuzu's right arm. "They're gonna change me again!" Hidan exclaimed. Kakuzu sweat dropped when a little bunny hopped out from the bush. "Kuzu I want the bunny!" Hidan said and picked up the baby bunny.

"Wow," Kakuzu said in a shocked state. Hidan held the snow white bunny close and glared at Kakuzu. "Let's go," Kakuzu muttered. He began walking towards the base and Hidan followed closely behind him still holding the bunny. They got back to the base and walked in. Kakuzu's thread pulled the baby bunny out of Hidan's hands, but Hidan didn't know Kakuzu did it. The bunny quickly ran into the living room.

"KAKUZU MY FUCKING BUNNY!" Hidan screamed and chased it into the living room. The bunny dashed under the couch, but Hidan didn't see it. "Kuzu! I lost my fucking bunny! Help me fucking find it!" Hidan whined looking around the room. All of the Akatsuki members where in the living room staring wide eyed at Hidan. Kakuzu walked in and sighed.

"It's probably under the couch Hidan," Kakuzu said in a calm fatherly tone. Hidan climbed under the couch.

"MY FUCKING BUNNY!" Hidan cheered and gently picked up his bunny. He came out from under the couch holding his little bunny. "Pain! Can I please keep my bunny? Fucking please!" Hidan pleaded. Pain nodded. Everyone was still staring in shock at the Jashinist.

"I left him with a babysitter," Kakuzu said and everyone groaned.

"What are you guys fucking groaning for? Don't you like me?" Hidan asked sounding and looking hurt.

"No we don't," Kakuzu stated flatly and Hidan dashed out of the room. He ran into his bedroom and then into the closet.

"Atleast you're my friend," Hidan muttered to his bunny. His bunny cuddled to him in response, since it couldn't talk.

"Hidan? Are you in here un?" Deidara called softly. He looked around the room and sighed. He turned to walk out of the door.

"Dei, come here," Hidan said softly. Deidara closed the door and hurried over to the closet. He pulled it open and saw Hidan.

"What's wrong un?" Deidara asked.

"Why do you guys not like me?" Hidan asked softly.

"We don't hate you, Kakuzu was joking yeah. The Akatsuki is one big family, we're all a part of that family and we all love eachother un," Deidara said. Hidan smiled and climbed out of the closet with his bunny (can't forget the bunny). They walked into the living room.

"Hidan, I'm going to build a cage for that rabbit," Sasori stated and quickly got to work on the cage.

"I can't believe I gave you a bath," Kisame smirked. Hidan handed the bunny to Konan and jumped on Kisame.

"DIE FISHY-SAN!" Hidan yelled and he and Kisame started to wrestle. Sasori quickly finished the cage and put some wheels on it. The wheels could lock so the cage couldn't roll. He put the cage in Hidan's room and flopped on the couch in the living room. Hidan was feeding his bunny.

"What's it's name?" Konan asked. Hidan paused to think.

"It's a girl, so…Ai," Hidan said. He smiled at the bunny and at everyone else.

"Welcome to the family Ai un," Deidara said. Everyone smiled and nodded.

* * *

**I know they're ooc...Please review and thanks for reading!**


	13. Rape!

Chapter 13

After awhile it was time for bed and everyone got ready. Hidan let Tobi keep Ai in his room, so he was lying in his bed all alone, terrified. There was a thunderstorm outside (he's actually scared of them, he's not that good of an actor, referring to chapter 4) and he was scared. The thunder boomed again and Hidan didn't want anyone to know he was scared of the storm; he only did it the first time because he was a kid.

"_Wait, I'm still a kid, I guess I could…maybe…well," _Hidan thought. The lightning flashed and the thunder boomed. Hidan jumped out of his bed and scrambled out into the hall. _"I can't go with Konan, Pain, Tobi, Sasori, or Deidara,"_ Hidan thought in a panicked state. _"That leaves Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, and, Zetsu"_ He thought. The lightning flashed again, illuminating the hall for a brief second, and then the thunder boomed, it sounded closer. Hidan decided to run to Kisame's room, even though he was rough and tough, he was friendly and caring too. "K-Kisame," Hidan whimpered. Kisame sat up groggily and looked at Hidan.

"Hey midget," Kisame yawned and patted the spot on the bed beside him. Hidan climbed in the bed next to Kisame. "What's up?" Kisame asked

"I…can I s-stay in h-here tonight?" Hidan asked softly, looking at the floor. Kisame looked at him like he was crazy.

"Yeah, but why?" Kisame asked gently. The thunder boomed again and Hidan pressed himself against Kisame shaking. "Oh, I see," Kisame sighed and wrapped his arms around Hidan.

"Kisame i-if you f-fucking tell anyone, I'll…I'll…j-just don't f-fucking tell anyone," Hidan muttered and leaned into Kisame's embrace. Kisame lay down, taking Hidan with him. He sighed and started wrestling around with him, but the thunder boomed again and Hidan scrambled into Kisame's arms cussing. "F-fucking s-storm, I'm not s-scared!" he growled. Kisame laughed when he flinched at the lighting.

"Don't lie to the storm," Kisame laughed and bounced Hidan in his arms. After awhile Hidan started drifting to sleep in Kisame's arms, he felt safe there.

"Good fucking night Fishy-san," Hidan said softly and fell asleep.

"Wow," Kisame said and shook his head. He went to sleep holding Hidan close to him.

Morning

Kisame woke up to Hidan cuddled against his chest. Hidan looked so peaceful sleeping. Kisame shifted and Hidan cracked his eyes open. (Nice job Kisame, I didn't even get a picture)

"Mmm?" Hidan asked sleepily. Kisame chuckled and patted Hidan's back.

"Good morning sleepy head. How did you sleep?" Kisame asked grinning.

"Pretty fucking good, your bed is comfy," Hidan murmured sleepily. He yawned and stretched. Kisame laughed and ruffled Hidan's hair.

"I'm glad to see you didn't wet my bed. I can't believe you wet your bed dude," Kisame said. Hidan looked hurt. He hopped out of Kisame's bed and ran into the kitchen. Kakuzu was drinking coffee, Itachi was eating dango, Sasori was reading the paper, Deidara was eating bacon with Zetsu, and Pain was reading a paper like Sasori. Tobi, Konan, and the bunny went out for a walk.

"Good morning Hidan," Pain said. Hidan walked over to him and plopped down on his lap. "Everything okay?" Pain asked. Hidan nodded his head and glanced at the paper in Pain's hands.

"Where's Ai?" Hidan asked sleepily. He looked around the room then up at Pain.

"Tobi and Konan took her out for a walk," Sasori said not even glancing up at the paper.

"Mmk," Hidan sighed. Suddenly Kisame walked into the kitchen and plopped down on a chair. "Here to make fun of me?" Hidan asked sourly. Pain looked at both of them.

"What happened?" Pain asked.

"Fucking nothing," Hidan muttered and got some bacon. He took it into the living room and ate it. He sighed and glared at the wall. "Fucking Fishy-san," Hidan growled. He sighed and wondered where his scythe was; he wanted to do a ritual. Since he figured it was hidden to well to find, he stretched out on the couch for a nap. Kisame strolled into the room and lifted up Hidan's top half. He sat down and put Hidan's top half back down on his lap.

"I'm sorry bipolar," Kisame said. He grinned at Hidan when the boy poked his stomach. Hidan smiled softly and started trying to wrestle with the large shark man.

"I'LL WIN FISHY-SAN!" Hidan shouted confidently.

"BRING IT!" Kisame yelled back and pinned Hidan. It may seem like they were fighting, but that's just the way they wrestle. Suddenly Hidan smirked up at Kisame. "What are you planning?" Kisame asked. Hidan took a deep breath.

"RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! HELP, I'M BEING MOLESTED!" Hidan screamed. Sasori, Pain, Zetsu, Deidara, Itachi, and Kakuzu ran into the room.

"Kisame get off of him! He's a child right now!" Kakuzu growled. He pulled Kisame off of his little partner and glared at him. "Hidan, are you okay?" Kakuzu asked.

"I'm…" Hidan trailed off as a sudden memory entered his head.

_Flashback_

_Hidan was cowering under his bed as a thunderstorm raged outside. His uncle pounded on his bedroom door, screaming profanities at the little Jashinist._

"_HIDAN! YOU WORTHLESS BASTARD! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR AT ONCE!" Hidan's uncle yelled. Suddenly the pounding stopped. Hidan stayed under his bed, terrified. The door flew open with a loud bang; his uncle kicked it open. "Come out, come out," his uncle said in a singsong voice. He reached under the bed and dragged Hidan out by his ankle._

"_U-Uncle," Hidan whimpered in terror. His uncle gave him a creepy smile. He began pounding Hidan relentlessly. He laughed sadistically as he heard Hidan's bones cracking, his blood hitting the floor, and the choking sounds he made._

"_DIE YOU WORTHLESS ASSHOLE!" His uncle screeched. At last Hidan's uncle thought he was unconscious. He lifted up his body and tossed it into the wall. He smiled sadistically again and stepped into Hidan's closet. Several minutes later Hidan's dad came into the room. He gasped at the sight of his son. He rushed over and bent down next to him._

"_Hidan, are you okay?" Hidan's dad asked in a panicked state. Hidan smiled softly at his dad and nodded. Suddenly, his uncle ran out of the closet and drove a knife into his brother's stomach. _

"_Goodbye little brother, I've killed your son, now it's your turn," he smirked._

"_H-Hidan, goodbye," Hidan's father whispered. He coughed once, blood started draining out of his mouth and he fell to the floor, dead. Hidan's uncle laughed and walked out of the room. Hidan, using his arms, dragged himself out to the kitchen where his uncle was standing over his mother's lifeless body. He was laughing._

"_I've killed my brother, his wife, and his son," Hidan's uncle laughed. He turned and walked out of the house, not even noticing the crying child. Hidan passed out from blood loss and was later found by the police. They fixed him up and he ran, ran away from them, the village, and his past._

_End of Flashback_

Pain, Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, and Zetsu were staring at Hidan. While he was having his flashback he had began crying, no not crying, sobbing hysterically. He hadn't thought about it for a while, and it really hurt to think about it now. He pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and put his head down. He continued crying his heart out; everyone was staring at him.

"Did I hurt you?" Kisame asked worriedly.

"N-n-no, U-U-U," Hidan couldn't even finish what he was saying, he was crying to hard. Everyone vaguely remember Deidara being like this once. When it happened to Deidara, he was a lot younger; it was one of his first days in the Akatsuki. Deidara sat beside his friend, pulled him onto his lap, and hugged him tightly.

"Hidan, I'm here un. What's wrong yeah?" Deidara asked softly. Hidan grabbed Deidara's cloak and clung to him like his life depended on it. "There there un," Deidara cooed. He started rocking the boy back and forth, trying to provide some comfort to the boy.

"D-Dei," Hidan sobbed and cuddled into Deidara's chest. "U-U-Uncle k-k-killed m-m-m-m-m-mom a-and d-d-dad," Hidan sobbed. Everyone stared wide-eyed at Hidan.

"**What?** Are you talking about your past or something?" Zetsu asked. Hidan gave a loud sob as his answer. Everyone looked at Hidan sympathetically.

"Don't cry Hidan, it's okay," Sasori soothed patting Hidan on the head. After a few hours of OOC cuddling and soothing, Konan and Tobi came home with Ai.

"There's my fucking bunny!" Hidan cheered and snatched Ai up. Ai's nose twitched and Hidan started feeding her. After awhile, Pain told Konan everything that happened and she hugged Hidan as tight as she could.

"Oh my baby, I'm so sorry," Konan said.

"I-I wanna forget…" Hidan muttered and ran out of the room to Tobi.

"What's wrong Hidan-san?" Tobi asked. Hidan walked over to him and smiled.

"Wanna put a fucking puzzle together with me?" Hidan asked. Tobi nodded eagerly and they got a hundred thousand piece puzzle. The sat on the living room floor and all of the other Akatsuki members, even Ai, joined them. Once they finished they all felt proud. The puzzle was a beautiful sunset over a green grassy hill. "It looks fucking cool," Hidan stated. He smiled and started petting Ai, who fell asleep so he put her in her cage. After awhile they all just started talking about random things then Konan made dinner and they ate. Once they were done Hidan sat beside Konan and quickly fell asleep.

"He looks so precious!" Konan squealed softly. The Jashinist had a peaceful expression on his face while he was asleep; it made him look rather innocent.

* * *

**I KNOW they're extremely OOC and I'm sorry. I'm also sorry I haven't updated lately, some stuff has been happening and it's made it difficult to focus. I'll try to update sooner!**


	14. Ritual!

Chapter 14

Hidan was sound asleep on the couch, exhausted from his long day. Konan was cleaning up Hidan's room, Kakuzu was counting money, Zetsu was tending to his plants, Itachi was reading, Deidara was making sure all weapons were out of Hidan's reach, Pain was talking with Sasori in his office, Ai was in her cage, and Tobi was following Deidara.

"Do you think we'll be able to capture these people Leader-sama? They seem to only be targeting Hidan," Sasori said. Pain sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Sasori, to tell you the truth, I'm not sure, but when we do, I fear there will be chaos," Pain said in a grave tone.

"Yes, there will be chaos when we force them to turn Hidan back to his original age. Everyone will miss him being a child; it's the only time he shows some affection. He is quite a bit nicer as one," Sasori mused. He sighed and sat down on Pain's desk.

"Yes, I think when he's older Konan may still try to baby him and he will lose his patience with her," Pain said sighing. Suddenly they heard a loud bang, a scream, and a knock on Pain's office door. "Come in!" Pain said angrily. Hidan hesitantly came in; he thought Pain might be mad at him. "Oh, it's you Hidan," Pain said in a relieved tone. Sasori beckoned him over to them. Hidan walked over and smiled shyly. He hopped up on the desk that Sasori was on and picked up a pen.

"How did you get the Akatsuki's pattern on a fucking pen?" Hidan asked staring at the pen.

"I have my people," Pain said looking proud.

"He means me," Sasori said. Pain immediately glared at him, his proud look gone. Hidan burst out laughing so hard he fell off of the desk…right into Pain's lap. "You okay Hidan?" Sasori asked when the boys' laughter stopped.

"Yeah," Hidan said. He slipped his hand into Pain's cloak and stole one of his kunai's. He hopped up and smiled at them. "Bye!" Hidan said and ran out of the room.

"What was that all about?" Pain asked in a confused tone. Sasori shrugged and they continued talking about random things.

With Hidan

After Hidan ran out of Pain's office he went straight to his room. He locked the door and began one of his rituals, deciding to keep it extra long. Though he was still immortal, some things had changed with his age. He didn't like the pain this time, it hurt very badly, but he didn't stopped. He drove the kunai deeper into his heart. Crimson liquid stained his pale skin and the floor, but he still didn't stop. He continued to do his ritual; thanking Jashin that no one was interrupting him. Once his ritual was done, he was in a ton of pain and he didn't like it one bit. He hid the kunai, unlocked his door, and ran into the living room. He ran straight to Itachi, who was standing against the wall, and threw his arms around him, sobbing.

"Hidan? What happened?" Itachi asked seeing all of the blood on the child.

"HIDAN UN! KAKUZU, ZETSU, SASORI! HIDAN NEEDS HELP, NOW UN!" Deidara hollered. The three men he called rushed into the room, and stopped upon seeing the sobbing Jashinist.

"Hidan what **the hell **happened to you?" Zetsu asked. The three began healing all of the wounds on him while Itachi and Deidara soothed him, trying to get him to stop crying.

"Hidan, what did you do?" Sasori asked in a serious tone. Hidan sniffled and buried his face in Itachi's chest, trying to get away from the questions.

"Hidan, tell us what happened RIGHT now," Kakuzu demanded. The boy winced from Kakuzu's tone of voice and clutched Itachi's cloak tightly. By that time everyone was in the room. Tobi was racing around the room flailing his arms around in a panicked state because Hidan was crying.

"Why's Hidan crying?" Konan asked in a worried voice.

"He was covered in cuts un," Deidara said. "He won't tell us why un."

"Hidan," Pain said taking the boy into his own arms. "What happened?"

"C-can't tell you," Hidan sobbed. He tore himself away from Pain and ran out of the base, crying. Pain went to go after him, but Konan grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.

"He just needs some time, he's probably embarrassed because he cried in front of everyone," Konan said in a soothing motherly fashion.

"He won't go far," Kakuzu assured. He knew Hidan was smarted than that with what has happened to him the past few days.

With Hidan

Hidan ran out of the base and kept running blindly. He was upset with himself for letting the others see him cry so many times, but it felt good to be comforted for once in his life. Hidan ran until he got to the forest, and then stopped debating whether to go further or not. Suddenly he got a boost of courage and plunged into the woods, a determined look on his face. After awhile he made it to the other end of the woods and he was exhausted. He used a lot of his chakra forcing himself to run extremely fast.

"Jashin damn it, you bastards, SHOW YOUR FACES! I'LL KILL YOU!" Hidan screamed looking around. Suddenly Rika appeared, smirking.

"Now now darling, don't go around yelling," Rika scolded. Before she could react, Hidan shot forward with a rock that was behind him. He slammed it into her head, causing her to fall to the ground bleeding. Takeo shot out from the bushes and punched Hidan, sending him flying into a tree. He rushed to Rika's aid and healed the wound on her head. The both stood and glared angrily at Hidan.

"You never learn, do you pest?" Takeo growled. Rika stepped forward and did a series of hand signs, then smirked.

"I guess we'll just have to start the lesson over," Rika laughed. Takeo smiled and nodded.

"I think he looks the best at this age," Takeo mused.

"Oh darling, you are so right. He's so small," Rika giggled. She wrapped her arms around Takeo's neck and he lifted her up bridal style.

"Let's go my love, you need your rest," Takeo said soothingly. They disappeared in a puff of smoke leaving Hidan all alone.

"Jashin damned bitches!" Hidan called after them. He stood up, but pain exploded through out his skull making him fall down. "Maybe…just a little…rest," Hidan said then passed out. Several hours later he awoke to rain pouring down on him. His head still hurt, he was tired, and wet. He stood on shaky feet and started back towards the base in pouring rain.

With The Others "I'm getting worried, he should be back by now!" Konan exclaimed. She was pacing around the living room in a worried fashion. It had been a several hours and everyone was a little uneasy. "I'm sure he's fine," Pain said. "WHAT IF HIDAN-SAN DIED?" Tobi screamed running around the room in a panicked fashion. Just then the sound of thunder silenced them. Only Kisame knew of Hidan's fear, so he was the person who was worried the most at that point in time. "Zetsu, can you sink through the ground and pop up at random places trying to find him?" Kisame asked. Zetsu nodded and disappeared through the ground. Several hours later Zetsu saw Hidan collapsed near a tree trunk trembling and whimpering. Zetsu wrapped his arms around Hidan and lifted him up.

"Hush Hidan, I've got you, **you've been changed again,**" Zetsu said softly. "You're also **bleeding**," he observed. He quickly sunk into the ground while Hidan clung to him like he was his lifeline. Zetsu rose from the floor in the living room, where all the members were waiting.

"HIDAN! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK! AND LOOK! YOU'VE GONE AND GOT CHANGED AGAIN-wait honey, no no, don't cry, shhhhhh," Konan yelled/soothed pulling Hidan into her arms. Hidan continued bawling his little eyes out and held his arms out to his best friend, Deidara. Deidara was surprised, but took Hidan into his arms and rocked him back and forth, gently shushing him.

"Now now Hidan un," Deidara soothed. Sasori grabbed Deidara's arm and pulled him out of the room with Hidan. "What Danna un?"

"He's all wet," Sasori said gently. They got to Hidan's room and Deidara sat on the bed, cradling Hidan against his chest. Sasori pulled out some clothes and sat the on the bed. Everyone else sat in the living room, planning to have a talk with Hidan about what happened.

"Hidan un, come on, you gotta let go of me hm," Deidara said. Sasori was getting a bath ready for the tiny crying Jashinist.

"N-n-n-n-no!" Hidan squeaked. Thunder boomed again and Hidan snuggled into Deidara, sobbing his tiny heart out. Sasori walked into the room, pulled Hidan off of Deidara, picked up the clothes, and went into the bathroom. He stripped Hidan down and put him into the bath. Hidan continued crying, but blushed furiously.

"What's the matter? Embarrassed little guy?" Sasori asked. Hidan was way to upset to do anything properly, so Sasori started washing him. He was surprisingly gentle. Deidara slipped into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

"Hi Hidan un," Deidara said smiling at the boy. "Why are you still crying? It's okay, you're back home," he said in a soothing voice. Apparently something clicked in Hidan's mind when Deidara said that because he blinked once, then began bawling harder. He reached his arms out to Sasori, signaling he wanted out.

"Once second little guy," Sasori said in a gentle yet firm tone. He rinsed him off and by that time Hidan was crying even harder. "I know, I hate waiting too," Sasori said as he took Hidan out of the tub and wrapped him in a big fluffy black towel. By that time the thunder had gotten louder.

"S-Sori, D-Dei, make it go away!" Hidan sobbed. Deidara and Sasori exchanged worried/confused glances and quickly dressed Hidan. Deidara wrapped Hidan up in a blanket with the Akatsuki pattern on it and looked at Sasori for help.

"Hidan, what do you want to go away?" Sasori asked lifting Hidan up.

"T-the fucking s-storm!" Hidan said quietly. When he realized what he said he slapped his little hand over his mouth.

"Hidan, are you scared of the storm un?" Deiara asked in a gentle tone. When Hidan didn't answer, Deidara knew he was. Deidara nodded to Sasori and looked at Hidan.

"Hidan, it's okay to be scared, but it's not going to hurt you," Sasori said. Sasori sighed and went to Hidan's room, still carrying Hidan. Deidara followed quickly, worrying about his poor friend. Hidan seemed so different now; everyone did actually. He guessed it was just because Hidan was a kid. Deidara watched Sasori gently lay down on Hidan's bed with Hidan, and hold him close.

"I'll go tell the others Hidan's gonna take a nap with you un," Deidara said and hurried out of the room. He went to the living room and smiled when everyone looked up.

"Where's Hidan?" Itachi asked in a monotone voice.

"He's taking a nap with Sasori, he's really shaken up un," Deidara said.

"I think Hidan's around four years old, **what do you guys think?"** Zetsu asked. Everyone pretty much agreed with Zetsu. Deidara sighed and went back to Hidan's room. He laid down on the other side of Hidan, so now Hidan was in between the two artists of the Akatsuki. "We're all changing un," Deidara said softly to Sasori who nodded.

"Maybe for the better."


	15. It Worked!

Chapter 15

Early in the morning everyone woke up and gathered in the dining room for breakfast. Suddenly Pain cleared his throat and stood up.

"Everyone, I have wonderful news," Pain said. He looked around the room at each anxious face. "I've located Hidan's attackers." The second Pain said that cheers rang through the base and everyone quickly finished eating. They rushed around the base preparing to attack the people. Once everyone was prepared they gathered at the front of the base. Konan had Hidan safely tucked in her arms with his adult cloak on his small body.

"Everyone watch out for their jutsu's, they must be very strong to change Hidan like they did," Konan said. With that, they set off. Several days later they arrived at the area in which Pain had located the people. Konan put Hidan down and they Akatsuki hid, leaving Hidan alone in a clearing. Suddenly Rika and Takeo appeared.

"Back for more little boy?" Takeo asked laughing manically. Rika joined in the laughter and stepped forward. She was about to strike him, when Pain shot out into the clearing with Sasori. Sasori went after Takeo while Pain went after Rika. Pain was to quick for Rika, he caught her and threw her into a tree, then quickly slashed her throat while Sasori finished off Takeo with a strike to the heart. Once those two were dead, Hidan returned to his normal size. Luckily Konan had put him in his adult cloak, so he wasn't naked.

"IT WORKED!" Konan squealed shooting out of her hiding spot and throwing herself into Hidan's arms.

"FUCK YEAH!" Hidan screamed in delight. Everyone else came out actually smiling. Deidara wrapped his arms tightly around Hidan, Tobi glomped him, and Kisame gave him a one armed hug while the others smiled.

"Lets go home boys, lets go home," Konan said. They set off for home, arriving there in a few days. They made dinner and sat at the table to eat.

Somewhere in the woods

Rika and Takeo stepped out from behind a tree so the shadow was cast over them, their eyes glowing red, and began laughing manically.

The End

* * *

This is the end of Hidan's a kid! but I am going to write a sequel. I know it's not a good ending, but it's all I came up with so no complaining.


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